Unrequited
by kiwibrazilian89
Summary: What might happen if Annie discovers she has feelings for Auggie while he is still reeling from his breakup with Parker and only sees her as a friend?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Between Parker breaking his heart and the teaser for next week...I find myself wondering what would happen if Annie fell for Auggie while he's hung up on someone else and still only sees her as a friend...this is an exploration of how that might play out. **

**Disclaimer: CA is not mine. **

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><p>Auggie had not technically done anything wrong. In fact when she reached out to hold his hand on the way home from Allen's and he pulled away, he had only been trying to respect the boundaries of their friendship, especially given that both of them were more than a little bit tipsy.<p>

He was just being a gentleman.

So why was she so angry at him right now?

Perhaps it was because when she had leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered to him that she was falling for him, he had frozen up and completely pushed her away, informing her that they would talk about it when they were both sober.

It was the first time he had ever rejected her, and it hurt more than she had expected.

Mainly because she had no idea why. Why would he push her away now when he had never complained about the blurring of the lines that held their friendship back from becoming more.

He had moved to the other side of the cab and the rest of the ride was spent in stony silence, neither of them willing to lower their pride and begin the awkward conversation they now knew was inevitable.

Auggie had gotten out of the cab without saying a word to her, merely paying the cabbie and telling him to make sure Annie got home safely.

That was the first night Annie cried herself to sleep because of Auggie, and she vowed it would be the last. He had made it clear that he didn't want anything more than friendship between them, and she would simply have to crush any deeper feelings that had been developing. If only she had some idea how to do it.

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><p>Auggie closed the door of his apartment and made his way to the couch, sinking wearily into the well worn cushions which covered it. He had not meant to upset Annie but it had only been a week since Parker broke up with him and he was still reeling and heartbroken.<p>

He had invested a lot of his emotions in Parker. Although it had been a short relationship, the shared connection over her brother had drawn them together quickly and intensely. She was the first girl since his revolutionary ex-girlfriend that he had filled in a Close and Continuing Relations form for, and receiving the approval for the relationship from Joan that afternoon had reopened the wounds that he was only just beginning to mend a week after the not-completely-unforeseeable break-up. He had known that 2 years was a long time to maintain a long distance relationship, but part of him had hoped that if he stuck around she would realize how well-suited they were for each-other. And he could have found ways to make it work, even if it meant using some of his build up of vacation days from work to visit her in the Peace Corps. But Parker had taken that decision out of his hands, and he wasn't sure how long it would take to piece his heart back together.

He didn't get deeply involved with people often, and when he did, it was wholehearted. It was only reasonable that he take some time out from the dating scene to heal. Or better yet, find the nearest hot girl and let her make him feel better. But Annie was too important to him to allow her to be one of those girls. The last thing he wanted to do was to use Annie as a rebound.

He had suspected for some time that Annie's feelings for him were beginning to deepen into something more than friendship but he had been so immersed in his relationship with Parker that he had ignored the warning signs. Now she had made it clear that her feelings went deep enough that he could hurt her unintentionally and he had no idea what he was going to do.

He should have told her about Parker while they were together but he had wanted some time to develop the relationship without everyone around him giving their opinions.

Clearly he would have to tell Annie about Parker now and it was not going to be an enjoyable conversation. How was he going to tell his best friend that he was completely hung up on someone else, who had just broken his heart? Was there any way to let her down gently and tell her that he just wasn't into her like that?

Burying his face in his hands Auggie groaned. He couldn't handle losing the two most important women in his life within the space of a week. He would have to find some way to make things right with Annie.

**A/N Any interest in seeing where this goes? **


	2. The Truth Hurts

A vague sense of unease flooded through Annie's body as she woke up to the insistent screeching of her alarm. At the back of her mind she knew today was going to be awful, but it took her brain a few minutes to fully engage and remember why.

Auggie. She had completely embarrassed herself in front of him last night, basically throwing herself at him only to be pushed away without even the usual polite formalities. He hadn't even said goodnight to her. And his rejection had been completely out of the blue, I mean, everything had been fine between them while at Allen's. They had talked and flirted in the usual way, lighthearted banter.

What in the world had possessed her to tell him she was falling for him. She seriously had to stop drinking around him if she was going to get that emotionally honest every time. When she whispered that she was falling she had actually just been finally admitting it to herself, not realizing until too late that she had spoken aloud. But the more she thought about the more she realized it was true. Somewhere along the road Auggie had become much more than just her handler, and she could not stop thinking about what it would be like to truly cross that line between friends and more than friends.

But for now, she had to get to work. And given that he was still her handler, avoiding him for the rest of her life was unfortunately not going to be an option.

Instead she would claim drunken amnesia and pretend she had no recollection of what happened during that painful cab ride home. If only she wasn't still do hurt and angry over the way he had treated her that would be much easier.

She had hoped to avoid Auggie that day at work but when she was called into Joan's office for a briefing as soon as she arrived she found him already there waiting for her to arrive. Thankfully Joan called the meeting to order straight away so she did not have to face the conversation she knew was just waiting to happen between her and Auggie. Joan began,

"Carolina Cachuesa is a Brazilian woman currently living in Sao Paulo who we suspect is one of the key organizers of a major drug cartel circle in South America. She grew up in the _favelas _just south of the downtown area, but is now extremely wealthy due to her father being the known head of one of the most powerful gangs in the country. We have reason to believe she may have information which would enable us to collapse both the gang, and the drug cartel route. She has recently become afraid for her life after being caught in a love triangle between two members of rival gangs which led to her leaking key information she should not have. She was discovered in this. She has offered us names and route details in exchange for asylum." Brazil? This sounded just far away enough to avoid dealing with her Auggie drama. Joan continued the briefing, pointing to the images on the screen.

"Annie, we are assigning you to this case because your Portuguese is fluent and this should be a simple brush pass but it has the potential to get messy, as per usual anytime you are walking into a gang war zone. Because she grew up in the slums she has had to learn the hard way that there are very few people in life who can be trusted so there is a chance you will need to build a relationship with her before she agrees to perform the pass. The reason she was passing on gang secrets to the rival gang was because her ex boyfriend had cheated on her, and the new boyfriend had asked her for information to prove that she was loyal to him. So if you need a way to bond with her I would suggest trying the girltalk angle.

Auggie will be handling you on this mission, he'll have a map of the area constantly available in case you need to exit quickly. Any questions?" Joan handed her the yellow envelope with her mission details and glanced across the room quickly to see if anyone looked confused. Satisfied with what she saw she wrapped up,

"Annie you fly out in 2 hours. You are all dismissed."

Annie left the room as quickly as possible, not offering Auggie her arm as a sighted guide as was their custom. She would have him unavoidably in her ear soon enough.

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><p>When she landed at Guarulhos International Airport in Sao Paulo 14 hours later, Annie hesitantly dialed Auggie's tech ops desk to inform him she had landed safely. Usually she enjoyed her periodic calls to her witty handler but today she was uncertain what the response would be from his end.<p>

"Auggie Anderson, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, how can I be of assistance." Annie couldn't help but laugh. He was still the same old Auggie, she didn't know what she had been so worried about.

"Annie Walker, acquisitions with the Smithsonian, just to let you know I have arrived safely at my next scheduled job."

"Glad to hear it Ms. Walker. How are you today?" He sounded genuinely concerned for her.

"I'm fine Auggie." That was a lie. She was confused, her emotions were all over the place, and just hearing the voice of her best friend was giving her butterflies. None of those sensations were ones she wanted.

"Alright. Your taxi driver is the one holding the sign that says Ms. Walker on it, and he'll take you to your next checkpoint. Can you see him?" Auggie didn't sound convinced of her emotional stability but at least he wasn't pushing her on the matter. She spotted her taxi driver waiting at the gate exit.

"He's literally jumping up and down with it, hard to miss. Where did you find this guy?" She giggled slightly, he was completely bald on top and waving at her with both arms.

"He's one of my favorite Brazilian taxi drivers. Ask him to sing you a samba!" That was advice she was definitely going to follow.

"When were you were in Brazil?"

"Its where all the most beautiful women in the world are grown, I go there all the time." Of course.

"Typical." *BEEP* She hung up, there was no need for her to hear anything more about his international stream of conquests. Was he trying to rub it in her face. Or did he not believe her when she said she was falling for him? Being Auggie he was probably just trying to ignore it completely. She had probably overreacted by hanging up on him, but she could deal with him later. For now she had a samba to request, and a taxi ride to survive - traffic in Sao Paulo really was something else and she was holding on for dear life as he made constant U-turns and had near misses with motorbikes.

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><p>Auggie belatedly realized he probably should not have mentioned anything about other women to Annie after recent events. It hadn't been intentional, but the fact that she hung up without even waiting for his reply made it clear that she was less than impressed with his offhand comment. Usually she would just laugh at him. He had been trying to keep the dynamics between them as normal as possible to keep her stress levels to a minimum while she was on her mission, but clearly the status quo was not going to work between them anymore.<p>

She had made it clear that she did not want to discuss the events of the previous night though, avoiding him all morning until she boarded her plane to Brazil. He didn't want to force the issue but it appeared that he would have to at least be more careful about how he spoke to her. Suddenly their comfortable companionship was feeling more complicated. He ran his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out how he could explain things to Annie without hurting her. There didn't seem to be any way to do it. So he settled for keeping her physically safe as he resumed tracking her progress.

She phoned him again 2 hours later when she arrived at her hotel.

"Auggie Anderson."

"Its Annie. You were right, the taxi driver was awesome. I'm officially hooked on samba music now." Auggie found himself grinning at the sound of her voice.

"You sound surprised, you should know by now that I'm always right."

"I do know, it's actually the only reason I keep you around." He couldn't resist teasing her slightly,

"Really now, because I got a slightly different impression last night." Okay so maybe that had crossed the line between teasing, and pressing for answers.

"I had too much to drink Aug, can we please never mention it again." If only. But unfortunately it seemed the awkwardness was not going to go away until the elephant in the room was discussed.

"I get the feeling we need to, you've been avoiding me, and that's not like you." It had been confusing the heck out of him, in fact, and for someone so smart, confusion was a rare occurrence.

"I'm just embarrassed. I shouldn't have said anything, and it clearly wasn't anything you wanted to hear." He sighed heavily into the phone and leaned his full weight onto his elbows as he braced himself for what was to come.

"Annie, I haven't been completely open with you about what's been going on in my life lately." He held his breath, knowing that the next few minutes of conversation would be extremely dicey. She replied to him in a tone which demanded answers,

"What do you mean?" Sharp, biting, caustic, all adjectives which came to mind to describe the way that sentence had come through the wires.

"You know that girl I met...the one who's brother served with me?" Drip feeding her information. Auggie tried to give himself space to back out at any time if he needed to. Although the reality seemed to be that he was already in over his head. Fully committed to this car wreck of a conversation.

"Yeah." One word answers from a girl were never a good thing.

"Well..things got pretty serious between us over the past couple of months to the point where I actually had to turn in a close and continuing relationship form to Joan regarding her. But uh, she broke up with me a week ago when she left for the Peace Corps" There was utter silence from the Brazilian end of the phone line for a solid two minutes. All his super sharp hearing could detect was rapid, shallow breathing. But he waited for her response nonetheless, knowing that she needed time to process what he had just said.

"I...Auggie I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were in a relationship, or going through a break up, I wouldn't have been flirting with you if I knew. Well. Actually I shouldn't have been flirting with you like that at all. It was just the alcohol talking." Okay. Lies. But at least it was a rational response. At least she hadn't hung up on him.

"Annie I'm your best friend, please be honest with me." Actually he was scared of her honesty at this point, but it hurts less to rip the band-aid off all at once instead of spreading the pain out over a longer period of time right?

"Okay fine Auggie, I guess I just thought you were kinda into me too, but the way you reacted last night made it pretty clear that that's not an option. I'll be fine I just need some space so lets just keep our interactions limited to what is professionally necessary for now okay?" And he had reached the core issue. She was hurt and embarrassed and needed space. That was okay, at least she wasn't saying that she never wanted to speak to him again. Space he could deal with.

"Look, don't worry you didn't do anything you shouldn't have. But I just felt like I needed to be honest with you about this so that I'm not leading you on. Truth is I'm pretty torn up over Parker at the moment, and I can't see things between you and me progressing any further than the friendship level. I really do care about you Annie just not in the way you want me to. I wish I could be the guy you want me to be but I'm not." All he could hear for a while were restrained sniffles from the other end as she tried to hide the fact that she was crying. Her voice came through croaky and low when she finally replied.

"It's okay, I kinda figured that out from the way you reacted last night. Just...give me some time to pick my pride up off the floor, k?" It was killing him that she was crying because of him. She was his best friend, he was supposed to be the one who kicked the asses of men who hurt her, not the man who was causing the damage. He could only hope that the friendship would not be damaged beyond repair. He did not want to imagine a life without Annie Walker in it.

"Take all the time you need, I'll be here. But Annie promise me one thing please?" His voice was pleading almost desperately. Her reply was short and curt as she tried to hide the pain in her voice.

"What?"

"Promise that you'll call me if you need anything at all." He waited anxiously for her response.

"Fine." *BEEP* She hung up on him again. Well at least the worst part was hopefully over. Hopefully.


	3. Protocol was made to be Broken

Auggie was beginning to realize he had been wrong. The actual conversation was definitely not the worst part about hurting his best friend's feelings. The way she was completely shutting him out however, stung slightly. He had not realized how much he looked forward to her witty banter when she checked in from missions until it stopped.

Of course that didn't change the fact that he had now been awake for 17 straight hours monitoring all aspects of her mission. Then again, that could also have to do with the fact that he didn't want to go home and try to sleep. He had not been getting much sleep since Parker left. Every night he would inevitably end up thinking about her, and berating himself for not trying to convince her to stay. There were so many things he could have done differently. But obsessing over the past wouldn't change it, so here he was instead, wide awake and souped up on caffeine waiting for his coworker to phone him. He was definitely beginning to fit into the CIA's stereotypical profile – single, workaholic, and dangerously addicted to caffeine. Not to mention that his normal breakup behavior would be to return to his womanizing ways. As soon as Annie returned from her mission safely.

His phone began to buzz with Annie's number and as he answered a frantic voice immediately made him tense in his ergonomically perfect office chair.

"Auggie? Someone just grabbed my asset and forced her to get into a van as she was walking towards me. I don't think he saw me, but I got a photo, I'm sending it through to you, they were too far away for me to get to her before they drove off. I told the taxi driver to act like an American taxi driver from the movies and follow them so we're enroute to wherever they are taking her now."

"I'm on it. How much battery do you have on your phone?"

"About 5 hours of talk time."

"Okay, Annie. I need you to check in every half hour and let me know you're okay."

"Got it." *BEEP*

Sleep was definitely going to be a long way off tonight. He sent a text to Joan to inform her that Annie's mission had run into unforeseen complications, knowing she would insist on coming in to join the monitoring team irrespective of the late hour. Annie was a magnet for trouble. There was already a pool going in the office on how long it would be before she managed a simple brush pass without extra complications. Odds were very strongly against it happening any time soon.

Joan turned up 10 minutes later somehow managing to come across professional and in control even when bleary eyed from lack of sleep. The woman practically oozed power and sophistication at any given time of day or night.

"What's the latest?"

"Annie is following the people who kidnapped our asset in an unmarked taxi."

"That's likely to get messy, how close are our nearest team?"

"Half an hour away, I've given them her coordinates and we are tracking her. They are on en-route."

"When Annie next calls let her know that she is not to go in and try to rescue the asset under any circumstances. Her job is only to find where they take her then leave it to the extraction team to get her out. I don't want her putting herself in danger unnecessarily."

"She's due to call us in 20 minutes, I'll let her know then."

**20 minutes later**

This time Auggie didn't even wait for Annie to begin talking before he started issuing orders.

"Annie, do not go in there after her." He knew Annie would recognize the tone in his voice as one which did not allow for argument.

"I'm standing outside and I can hear her screaming, I can't just leave her in there!" Clearly she was choosing to ignore the tone. All he could think was 'Damnit Annie, I'm just tryna keep you out of trouble." Out loud all he said was,

"Yes you can. There is a team en-route. You're not to go in alone, Joan's orders."

"Auggie they were yelling that they were going to kill her as they dragged her out of the car. They seemed serious. We can't afford to lose the asset." The desperation in her tone concerned him, he hoped it was not his fault but Annie sounded much less in control of her emotions than usual and in this situation panicking could be a lethal mistake. He replied calmly.

"There will always be other ways to get the information. As your handler I'm ordering you not to go in. As your friend I'm asking you not to put your life in jeopardy unnecessarily." He was genuinely concerned for her safety at this point. Screw the asset, this mission wasn't that important. Well okay, it was extremely important for the stability of the entire continent, but not worth Annie losing her life over.

"It's not like you would care that much anyway Auggie." The amount of bitterness in her reply shocked him to his core. But he didn't have much time to process it because he heard more screaming, then Annie's voice came through the phone again,

"I'm going in." He had a gut feeling that she was trying to punish him for rejecting her by being reckless. If she didn't get herself killed he was going to kill her himself when she got back to Langley. He knew quite a few ways to do it too. He yelled into the phone, causing Joan to come rushing over from her office,

"Annie don't you dare. You are not allowed to break protocol over this, it's not worth it."

The line went dead. A couple of minutes later their tracker blinked a few times then disappeared off the screen, someone had crushed it. Stu informed Auggie of this development which resulted in Auggie ripping his headphones off his head, and storming angrily towards the door, frustrated beyond belief. Joan stopped him from leaving the room.

"Auggie sit down and breathe. That's an order." He couldn't sit. If Annie had disappeared off the tracker it could only mean one of two things. Either she had deliberately taken herself off the map, or she had been taken captive by the same men who kidnapped the asset. Either option was not good, and both options required the extraction team to go to her last known location then track her down manually. A calm hand to the shoulder from Joan forced him to sit anyway.

Joan was livid, but more than that she was concerned for Annie. She spoke briskly.

"Auggie, as soon as the extraction team reestablishes communication with Annie I want her on the next plane home."

"Yes Ma'am." He checked in with the team on the ground,

"Did you buffoons hear Joans' orders?"

"Loud and clear chief." Well, at least some people still had respect for the chain of command around here.

"Okay." Auggie's calm voice and steady hands moving over his Braille keyboard belied the deep fear he had that they would not be able to rescue Annie in time and that it would be his fault for not being able to convince her to stay out of the situation.

Survivors guilt takes a long time to work through, and he was still dealing with the guilt from getting his whole unit killed years ago. Losing Annie was something he did not even want to consider.

He needed more coffee. It was going to to be a long night.


	4. Meanwhile in Brazil

**A/N Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm slowly trying to reply to them all, I appreciate you all so much! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Covert Affairs. Any of it. **

**Meanwhile in Brazil**

Annie was thoroughly lost. She had followed the noise of the asset screaming into a narrow _favela _(slum) alleyway, only to find that it wound back and forth with no perceivable organization, with little brick and tin huts cropping up in the most unlikely places and most of the turns she made resulting in dead ends.

If she had checked with Auggie before rushing in he could have told her that the slums in Brazil are often built that way deliberately so the police are unable to find and arrest drug lords without being ambushed themselves first.

But no, she had ignored his orders, and then tripped over a piece of trash and fallen flat on her face, crushing the small mechanism Auggie had given her as a tracker in the process. She had no idea if it was still working or not but when she had tried to get back to the taxi at that point she had already been irrevocably lost and disoriented.

She was now at a dead end of yet another pathway and she could hear the asset screaming again. Joan had said that Carolina grew up in the slums. If she could get her away from her kidnappers she would probably know how to get both of them out of here.

She tried the door she heard the screaming coming from and found it unlocked. Cautiously creeping into the dark room she closed the door behind her waiting for a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark.

Suddenly she found herself pinned against the wall, hands held behind her back and someone's large hand covering her mouth, muffling her screams. She could hear men whispering indistinguishable words, all she could pick up was,

"Americana!" They dragged her through the house, there were three of them, strong Brazilian men, arms bulging with muscles, and struggling was futile. She found herself being tied securely to a chair in a room where there was mercifully at least a light on. Turning around she saw the asset sitting in a couch behind her smirking before the men blindfolded her. In heavily accented English one of them began to speak to her.

"We knew the Americans had decided to take an interest in our dealings. Did you really think a Brasilian would break the bonds of family and community to turn in her own people just because she was in love with someone from a rival gang? But see that is the problem with you Americans, you do not see family as something sacred and unbreakable. Oh don't worry, your precious asset was not deceiving you exactly, she really did consider it, love is powerful. But ultimately she realized that if she lost her family, all of the love in the world would not be able to make her world whole again. You see, to a _Brasileira_, family is everything." Annie struggled to undo the knots in the rope which held her hands tied behind the chair but the men had known what they were doing, the knots were rock solid and too tight for her to wriggle out of anytime soon. The man continued.

"This, this is why the police will never be able to break up the drug cartels here. Our bonds of loyalty to each other run too deep. Oh sure, we are not her biological family, but all of us grew up as orphans in the_ favelas_ together, learned how to survive together, and that has created the same bond between us. Do you see now why Carolina so willingly told us all about your little deal. Although to be fair, it did require just a little bit of coercion on our part to begin with."

"Why are you doing this to me? I was just a lost visitor to the _favela_, trying to find one of my friends. I have no idea what you are talking about!"

"Ah _querida_, we know everything about you, struggling is pointless. But don't worry, we won't kill you. We have much bigger plans for you." The second man reached down to her pockets and patted her down until he found her phone hidden in the inside pocket of her jacket, throwing it to the first man. Annie wished she could at least see the men so she would be able to identify them later. She knew there had been an extraction team 10 minutes away and that they would have at least known her last location before she fell and crushed her tracker. She had wandered hopelessly in circles from there though so there was no telling how long it would take the team to find her. Although if the men used her phone hopefully it would send a strong enough signal even from here where there seemed to be so little cell coverage, for Auggie to triangulate her location.

The men hit a button on her phone. She wasn't sure what it was but when Auggie answered she realized that they had redialed the last number she called. In relief she heard his voice and knew that somehow Auggie would find a way now to make everything okay. The men had him on speakerphone and she could hear him calling her name frantically.

"Annie? Annie I need you to talk to me, where the heck are you?" She shouted in the direction from which she could hear the phone,

"Auggie, help!" One of the men immediately put his hand roughly over her mouth, muffling anything else she tried to say, while the other one spoke to Auggie.

"As you can hear, we have your young lady, quite beautifully tied up if I do say so myself. We would dearly like the CIA to back off out case. And in fact, we would also like it if you would transfer us enough money to restart a lives for ourselves elsewhere where you will never find us again. Now, you should understand that if you have sent someone in to follow this young lady, they will never find her. This_ favela_ is built like a labyrinth, and it is controlled by our gang. No-one here will help any foreigners because they are too scared of the repercussions, so your people will have to search every single house in this overcrowded slum manually to find her. If they survive that long." Annie heard Auggie sigh in despair.

"What do you want us to do?"

"We would like $10million in US dollars, cash please. You have exactly 24 hours. We will swap your asset for the money at the entrance to the _favela_ at that time." Auggie replied calmly.

"Let me talk to her, I need to know she is unharmed first. If you harm her you will never see a cent of that money do I make myself clear."

"Oh don't worry; as long as you comply with our demands, your little friend is perfectly safe."

"Give her the phone." The man who had his hand covering her mouth let go and the negotiator held the phone up to her ear. She croaked breathily,

"Auggie?" He spoke briskly in reply,

"Annie. Sit tight; we will do whatever it takes to get you home. God woman, you really do know how to get yourself in trouble. Just follow all their demands and try not to do anything else reckless." Auggie sounded furious and she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or if he was so angry at the situation that he was unable to calm down even to speak to her.

"Okay. Auggie I'm so sorry." His voice gentled as he replied,

"Don't worry about anything right now, just focus on staying strong, okay. I've got your back super plum." In the midst of the tense situation Annie found herself almost laughing at the tongue in cheek referral Auggie was making to the one of the other times he had had to bail her out of a sticky situation. Then the man covered her mouth again and the phone was snatched away from her."

"24 hours. We assume you know where we are." She heard the sound of the call being ended and a deep sense of helplessness filled her.


	5. Back at Langley

**A/N I should probably be uploading this more slowly but I just keep wanting to share haha **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, blah blah blah you get the idea.**

**Back at Langley**

When the phone hung up the whole DPD department was tense and silent for a minute while Auggie took a deep breath before he Auggie began to send orders flying around the office like darts.

"Stu did we triangulate the location of Annie's phone."

"Yeah we did, I've sent them through to our team."

"Okay. Someone get the team on the phone right now." Someone else answered him, at this point Auggie didn't care who it was,

"Uh... Auggie we have radio silence from our extraction team, none of them are answering." Auggie clenched his fist so tightly around his coffee mug that it shattered. Mercifully it had been empty.

"That's not good. Where's our nearest backup team?" Joan grabbed the first aid kit and began pulling glass out of his hand with a pair of tweezers, still observing in silence.

"Buenos Aires, Argentina." Ow, his hand hurt like hell. But it didn't matter right now, he needed to get Annie out of there.

"How soon can we have them in Sao Paulo?" Joan dabbed antiseptic cream on his torn up hand and this time he did let out a hiss of pain.

"OUCH! How soon? Someone answer me!" The pain was making him sharper than usual with his team. Or perhaps he was just worried about Annie.

"30 minutes prep time, 3 hour plane ride, 2 hour drive to Annie's location once they are in Sao Paulo." That was too long. Where the heck was the damn team on the ground and why weren't they answering. Not that it mattered at this point; he would always have 3 or 4 backup plans in motion just in case.

"I want them en-route immediately in case we can't establish contact with our current team on the group. Do we have a location on them?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Why are you all still sitting there staring at me, get to work." They did, among muttering that sometimes they were sure Auggie couldn't actually be blind, given the accuracy of his perception and awareness of what they were doing at all times.

Auggie turned to Joan who had been monitoring the situation silently while wrapping his hand in gauze, trusting Auggie's leadership and knowing he had the respect of his whole team. In his wry and sarcastic way, he inspired rock solid trust from everyone he worked with. If he told them to jump off a cliff, they would probably trust that he would have a safety net to catch them. That was what she was counting on to get Annie out of Brazil. He spoke to her quietly,

"Joan, what are the chances of us being able to get $10 million cash down there within 24 hours given that it's an 14 hour flight from here to there and we would need to access the money within less than 10 hours."

"I'll talk to Arthur. You know our policy on negotiating with criminals though... I know you don't want to hear this, but...this really isn't going to be feasible given the current economic state of the US government. Trying to ask for money which is outside of our budget is like trying to get water from a rock. I'll do what I can."

"I know you will and that's all I'm asking." They both nodded in silent acknowledgment of the depth of respect with which they held each other after years of working together, and Joan went to talk to her husband.

* * *

><p>"Arthur, Annie's gone off book again, we need your help." Arthur looked up at his wife with a look of wry amusement on his face. He liked Annie; she had good instincts, which she followed faithfully. But no-one could get it right all the time, so it was only natural that the best agents also tended to be the ones who would get themselves into big trouble once in a while. His eyes laughed slightly as he replied to Joan,<p>

"What's she done this time?" Joan liked her husband's grin, so she paused to take it in before replying.

"Managed to get herself held hostage in Brazil. Drug lords. They want $10 million cash within 24 hours. Is there any way we can come up with that kind of money in that time?" That took the smile off Arthur's face just as quickly as she had expected it to. He frowned in confusion,

"I'll call in a few favors. But please tell me we are going to be able to get Annie out without the money!" It was unusual for Joan to ask him for large amounts of money, mainly because Auggie was usually so good at doing his job that problems were solved far before anything got to that stage.

"Her mission was compromised. Her tracker was destroyed and she's trapped in a _favela_ labyrinth so her situation is less than ideal. The extraction team we sent in to find her has gone off the radar too. We don't have any eyes on the ground there at the moment. Auggie is beside himself. I don't want to have to go back and tell him we couldn't get the money. I'm scared he would try to go in himself. He and Annie are extremely close friends." Arthur looked surprised,

"Really, that's still all they are? I thought they had started dating a long time ago." Hm. Apparently not.

"Their dynamic is interesting, but Auggie is going through a hard break-up at the moment so I don't think he's really noticed the way Annie feels about him yet. Or at least, if he knows, he doesn't feel the same way yet. I think it's only a matter of time but we'll see." Joan had her suspicions that there would be more going on once Annie got back from her mission but she had been wrong before.

"Well. I'll do everything within my power to ensure he gets the chance to figure his feelings for her out." Arthur knew exactly how it felt to have someone close to you stuck on a dangerous mission. He had been through that with Joan a few times.

"Thanks Arthur." She smiled at him with a glint in her eyes that no-one else ever got to see. Even after all this time her husband still inspired her awe and admiration like no-one else could. Then she went back to her own office, fully anticipating being ambushed by Auggie demanding answers within seconds. She was right. He was knocking on her door as soon as she sat down.

"Come in Auggie." If Auggie tensed his muscles any more he was likely to explode. His whole body was taut and shaking from the amount of stress he was under, although his voice did not show the effects of it. It was still calm and level.

"What did Arthur say?" She smiled; he was always straight to the point and direct. It was one of the reasons she had chosen Auggie for his position. She could always trust him to not beat around the bush and waste time. She replied with just as much directness.

"He will do everything within his power to get the money. Any updates."

"Yeah. It's not good news. We managed to reroute a satellite and get some footage of the area. Our extraction team was shot, and they have been placed in a pile in front of the _favela_, we can only assume as a warning. Annie is my best friend, and while personally I want to storm the _favela _myself to get her out, in my professional judgment it is not safe to send anyone else in after her. It would put them in too much jeopardy, and possibly make the kidnappers feel pressured resulting in them doing something reckless and getting Annie hurt. We are going to need that money." His calm tone cracked slightly by the time he mentioned the potential that Annie might be harmed, the only vocal indication of her extreme mental distress over the situation.

"We'll find a way to get the money one way or another. But right now I'm actually more concerned about you. When was the last time you slept?"

"I don't remember. About 24 hours or so."

"You need to at least take a 2 hour nap before I let you anywhere near your office again. You won't be any use to Annie if you are hallucinating from lack of sleep."

"I can't sleep Joan, what if she needs me and I'm not there. It my job to keep her safe, and that means if something happens to her it's my fault. I don't want to risk missing a single detail or opportunity that might allow us to get her out."

"You chose the people on your team for a reason and you've trained them to be meticulous about details. We will wake you immediately if there is any change in circumstances but there is really nothing more you can do right now. Go take a nap Auggie." Auggie knew from her tone that that was not a request but a direct order, albeit one he didn't want to follow in-spite of his extreme tiredness.

He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow and didn't wake until 6 hours later when Stu came in to tell him that Arthur had pulled money out of a hat somehow and it was on its way to Brazil.


	6. Repercussions

**A/N Yes, I SHOULD be studying for finals right now, but I felt driven to finish this chapter in order to be able to focus on my studies without it pulling me away all the time. Yep, clearly my priorities are in the right place. Not. Also, I know I'm skipping over some of the details of what happens in Brazil, but for me this story is more about the interactions between Auggie and Annie than the peripheral events which spur them on. And I'm super excited about this chapter! So let me know what you think! Is it realistic enough? Do you guys think this would play out in a different way? You guys are awesome so here you go!**

**Repercussions **

To everyone's surprise, the exchange of Annie and the $10 million actually went smoothly. Jai handed over the suitcase with the money and the drug lords pushed Annie into him, tired and sore from being tied but, but coherent and unharmed overall. She was on a plane home within hours of the exchange, and back at Langley the next morning.

Joan sent a summons for her the instant that she stepped foot in the office. Annie knew she was in trouble way over her head but at this point she was too exhausted to panic about it. She would accept the consequences of her action, and process them later.

"Have a seat Annie." Annie wanted nothing more than to sink into a chair. Or the ground really, she was so embarrassed. Joan stared her down for a few minutes trying to decide where to begin, and Annie began squirming in her seat. Joan decided to get straight to the point.

"Is there any reason I shouldn't fire you right now."

"I'm sorry Joan, I was completely out of line. I honestly don't have any excuse for my behavior other than that I was always taught to trust my instincts. But I know I took things too far." Joan raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow as she replied,

"Too far? Annie you kept the entire tech ops department awake for 36 hours trying to locate you. Auggie was an utter train-wreck, and we had to find $10 million to get you out. You cost the agency more money than we can reasonably afford to spend on any one agent. Three of our best field agents were killed trying to extract you from a situation that could have been avoided if you had obeyed orders. So I'm going to ask you one more time, is there any reason I shouldn't fire you right now?"

"No, there isn't. I deserve to be fired, I know that. I'm really sorry. And it won't happen again. "

"An apology isn't going to fix this Annie. You're suspended without pay pending a full investigation into the mission. We will contact you once we have decided on your future at the agency. You have half an hour to pack up your desk. You are not to be in contact with any members of the agency while on suspension. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Joan."

Auggie heard Joan's last statement to Annie as he was walking past the office looking for her and knocked on the door, asking for a minute to speak.

"Joan. She made a mistake, don't be too hard on her, we all make them once in a while."

"Auggie she disobeyed a direct order; that is not something which can be taken lightly."

"It was partly my fault, we had a fight before she left and I know she was already emotionally unstable before the mission started. I should have told you she wasn't in any state to go on the mission instead of staying silent. So if you need to blame anyone, it should be me."

"I appreciate your concern for Annie, but she needs to accept responsibility for her own actions. You're dismissed Auggie." Auggie sigh, nodded, and left the office. Joan returned her attention to Annie.

"Regardless of how much Auggie would like to protect you, you are still suspended. We will be in touch."

Annie left the office, biting her lip to keep herself from crying until she was safely in the comfort of her own apartment. She ran to catch up with her best friend just as he was walking into his own office.

"Thanks for speaking up for me Auggie." Auggie stiffened in anger as soon as she began to speak. He stopped dead and turned towards her, moving closer until he was standing so near that she could feel the waves of tension rolling off him.

"Annie Walker. Do you have any IDEA what you put me through?" Now that she was back, all the built up tension from the whole ordeal came rushing to the surface in a surge of adrenaline and suddenly Auggie could no longer control his emotions in spite of years of Special Forces training.

"Auggie I'm sorry I didn't listen to your orders I just got so caught up in the emotions of the mission I wasn't thinking clearly."

"No, you were not thinking clearly. What. On earth. Possessed you to crush your tracker? Did you not realize how much losing your signal would terrify me?" He had been scared half to death when that little beeping light had stopped flashing on their systems.

"I tripped and landed on it, I didn't do it on purpose. How dumb do you think I am?" She had sounded so hurt and bitter towards him just before it disappeared that he had assumed she did do it intentionally. Clearly he was wrong.

"Whatever. It doesn't even matter how it happened. I may have spoken up for you with Joan but I am still furious at you. So I suggest you give me a wide berth if you don't want to get the telling off of your life." He knew if he let his emotions out now he was likely to say something he would regret later.

"Go ahead, Aug, might as well get it all out of the way at once." That was all it took for his last shred of control to snap. He pushed her against the one non-glass wall of his office, his strong hands on the sides of her shoulders, pinning then to the wall while keeping their bodies at arms distance, then spoke in a low, ragged voice.

"If you ever pull that kind of stunt again, I promise you getting fired by Joan will be the least of your worries. Because I will always bring you home safely Annie. But next time I swear it will only be to punish you myself." His fervent yet steady voice made it clear that he was not in any way, shape, or form, joking.

"I said I'm sor..." He cut her off halfway through her word.

"I'm not done. You don't get to say anything until I am done talking." Annie whimpered slightly, half because she was miserable at having Auggie so angry at her, and half because seeing him be so protective and strong was turning her on.

"How DARE you disobey a direct order from me, let alone Joan?" Annie bristled at that and tried to push him away, struggling to get free of his iron grip to no avail, he was much stronger than her. So she fought back with her words instead.

"Hey! I'm not your slave; I'm allowed to exert free will!" Somehow she knew that excuse was not going to cut it with him.

"Not when you are on a mission. The next time I give you a direct order as your handler you WILL obey me or there will be consequences." That got Annie's hackles up.

"Oh for heaven's sake Auggie stop acting like such an alpha male. There's nothing you can do to me anyway." His unfocused eyes somehow managed to pin her to the wall even more strongly than his tense muscled arms were. His voice came out slow and almost menacing in its calmness.

"Do you really want to test that theory out?" Annie sighed as the exhaustion and stress of the past 48 hours flooded through her and she felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks silently. When they hit Auggie's hands, still pinning her to the wall, his anger immediately drained out of him and he pulled her into a tight hug. He spoke into her shoulder as he held her.

"Damnit Annie I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to get you out of there. And the thought of losing you terrifies me. You're my best friend I can't afford to lose you. You don't realize the level of guilt I would feel if you did something reckless out of anger at me and got yourself killed." Annie relaxed into his hug as she sobbed in his arms. He continued.

"I would barely be able to live with myself, and I would have to deal with that guilt every day for the rest of my life. I already have enough people's blood on my hands Annie. I don't need one more. And I especially don't need for it to be the one person in the world who I care about so much I would do anything to keep her safe. Do you understand what I'm saying?" She wanted to believe his words meant that he cared for her as more than a friend but she knew that this was more of a reaction because of his past experience losing his unit than a reaction to her.

"You're my best friend Annie. Don't ever do that to me again." Hopes shattered yet again at his words she sagged helplessly against him, suddenly feeling too weak to even hold herself up. His strong arms kept her on her feet as she replied weakly,

"I won't." Auggie breathed a sigh of relief but still had to check one more time.

"Promise?"

"Yes." With a deep breath Auggie finally released her only to find her sinking to the ground as all the stress of the past few day overwhelmed her. She was barely conscious. Her put one of his arms under hers arms and picked her up, putting his other arm under her knees to carry her to a cab. He got in with her and paid the cab driver to take them back to his place since he did not know where her safe house was. He should have been gentler with her in her fragile state but he had just been so worried about her he couldn't stand it. He would have to find a way to make things between them better somehow when she woke up.


	7. Picking Up the Pieces

**Disclaimer: The characters are still not mine. **

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><p><strong>Picking up the Broken Pieces<strong>

Annie awakened to the sound of Auggie talking on the phone. She was disoriented for a minute, until she realized she was in his bed. She heard his muffled voice speaking from the other room,

"Joan I know you don't want her in contact with anyone from the agency right now but don't you think you're being a little harsh?" Auggie knew that Annie had screwed up badly, but he could not help feeling that Joan was being unusually hard on her, and he would need to figure out why later. For now though he did not feel that she should be left alone after her ordeal, regardless of how wrong he decisions had been.

Annie couldn't hear Joan's reply but she assumed it was less than conciliatory based on the way Auggie responded.

"Well she's asleep on my bed right now, what exactly do you want me to do, wake her up and kick her to the street?"

Again, there was a pause while Auggie listened to Joan.

"Okay. Look her and I are not on great terms at the moment anyway. But no matter how mad I am at her she is still my best friend. Just let me make sure she gets home safely."

She assumed Joan said yes to his request since he perked up quickly and agreed with whatever she said before hanging up. Annie pulled herself out of bed and grabbed her shoes off the floor, hoping to get out of there without having to say anything more than goodbye to Auggie. Naturally, though, his sharp hearing picked up on her movements towards the door and he spoke from the couch where he had spent the night.

"Annie, wait." Auggie knew he had crossed a line with her last night which caused some serious collateral damage to their friendship. She had been going through hell and he had rubbed her face in it instead of supporting her as a friend should. He still wasn't quite sure why he had over-reacted so much, but he knew that he needed to make it right. So he stood between her and the door, stopping her from leaving.

"Why? Whats the point. You aren't supposed to be talking to me anyway. And I assume you probably don't even want me here." She sounded hurt and broken, and he knew it was because of his actions the night before.

"I owe you an apology Annie." She looked at him in surprise.

"Why? I screwed up, I got people killed, everyone should hate me, I hate myself." He put a steady hand on her shoulder.

"No. I had no right to speak to you the way you did. You made a judgement call that didn't turn out the way you hoped. But the guilt you are feeling right now is more than enough to ensure it never happens again. Believe me, I know. I've been there."

Annie tried to stop herself from tearing up again but her emotions were still all over the place as Auggie continued,

"Look, I'm not allowed to talk to you while you're suspended. Just see it as a slap on the hand from Joan. But I promise I won't let her fire you. So take this time to process the emotions of what happened and try to get some rest okay?" Auggie listened to her trying to calm her breathing and wished there was something he could do to make her feel better. He knew from his own experience though that it would be a long healing process for her. He could only hope she would allow him to walk through it with her in spite of the way he had treated her when she got back.

"People died because of me Aug." Auggie turned his body to face her fully, knowing that whatever he said to her now would form the basis of how she worked through the guilt for a long time to come. He took a deep breath and nodded,

"Yeah. They did. And that's something you are going to have to find a way to live with. And it will take time. I still have nightmares of the day my unit was killed. But it's one of the risks of the job and they all knew that when they signed up. You made a mistake. It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you any less worthy of being loved. It doesn't make you a bad field agent. And it doesn't change the fact that you are my best friend. "

As comforting as his words were, Annie knew deep down that they weren't really true. She had broken the bond of trust they had in their friendship and things would probably never quite be the same. And her career at the CIA was likely to involve being permanently chained to a desk from now on. Assuming that Auggie was able to talk Joan out of firing her. Which she still wasn't sure he would be able to do. But she didn't have the energy to express all that at the moment, she just wanted to get home and hide from the world. So she simply muttered quietly in a subdued tone,

"Thanks." Auggie nodded at her and opened the door to let her go. As she left she looked back at him, trying to memorize everything she could just in case she was never allowed to rejoin the CIA or see him again.

As he closed the door behind him, Auggie made his way to the couch and sank down, with flashbacks of his own worst nightmare hitting him full force in Annie's absence. He remembered the way people had tried to help him after the accident, tried to be there for him, tried to comfort him. He remembered that he had pushed them all away because he had formed the unshakeable belief that anyone who got too close to him would end up getting hurt or killed. He had said some unforgivable things to the people who had been his closest friends, resulting in him becoming completely isolated and depressed for a long time. Annie was the first person he had allowed to truly get close to him since the accident, but even with her, he had only opened up to a certain point. He could never allow he to truly see how weak and vulnerable he often felt.

His phone began to buzz and announce that there was a call coming through from an "unknown number," and got up to answer it only to be met by Parker's voice.

"Auggie?" He nearly fell over from the surprise of hearing from her.

" Parker…hey. Where are you calling from?"

"I'm still outta the country but, it's been harder than I expected, adjusting. I really miss you. I know I probably shouldn't be calling you I know we broke up and you're probably busy and now I just feel embarrassed for interrupting your day. I'm sorry." Auggie settled back down onto the couch and laughed inwardly at her nervousness. It was good to hear from her. Just hearing her voice somehow made all the other things he was concerned about seem less significant and draining.

"No, Parker. Wait. I know we're not together anymore but I will still always care about you and I'm here for you. What's been going on?"

"I guess I'm homesick. Part of me thought that by joining the Peace Corps I would be able to get a fresh start, get away from all the memories of Billy that are everywhere back home. But instead I just feel alone and I have way too much time to think. I'm sort of falling apart a little." His heart went out to her. Somehow the emotional connection that had been between them had not been torn by the break up and part of him just wanted to get on the next plane to Eritrea to see her.

"What can I do to help?"

"Is it too much to ask that we could be friends and stay in touch. It hurts not being able to talk to you." Part of him wanted to say no, tell her that she broke his heart and it was her own choice to leave him. He wanted to berate her for not giving him the option of trying to make their relationship work long distance. But the larger part of him cared too deeply for her to be able to turn her away, no matter what the circumstances. He wanted to stay close to her in whatever way she would allow.

"I'll always be here if you need me Parker." And he meant it. Parker was his escape from the harsh realities of the lifestyle she had chosen. Her optimism about her ability to truly make the world a better place inspired him to keep having faith in people, even when they disappointed him as Annie had over the past couple of days. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. As they talked he felt the tension of the week leave his body and he relaxed into the couch, grinning like a schoolboy.

**A/N Yes. I went there, Auggie is still not over Parker. How might this throw a wrench in the works? We shall see *mischievous giggle.***


	8. Save me?

Annie couldn't quite remember how she got home but she found herself in her pjs and curled up in bed within minutes of arriving. All she wanted to do was pull the covers over her head and never emerge again.

In one bad day she had single-handedly managed to destroy her social life and her career, and she did not have the energy to face the damage she had caused.

She had always been a survivor, fighting through everything life threw at her. Getting through each day with a smile and a killer pair of heels. Today, though, even the sight of a 50% off sale on Loubotin's couldn't make life feel worthwhile.

So instead she gave up, curled up in bed and let the waves of guilt crash over her, crushing her self-esteem and shattering her confidence into dust. She had always tried to be strong and trust her instincts but this time she had been so far off base that three people died because of her.

She wasn't sure she would ever be able to trust her judgement again. About anything. Including which people she could trust. She had thought Auggie was the one person she could count on to be there for her no matter what, but when it came down to it, he had his orders and chose work over her. Just like her dad, and Ben Mercer had. She promised herself not to trust him again. After all she had given Ben a second chance and it didn't change a thing. She no longer believed that people could change for the better.

She heard her phone buzzing repeatedly on bedside table but couldn't muster up the energy to answer it. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to forget everything that had happened.

She didn't emerge from her hazy stupor for the next three days. Her mind was cloudy and her thoughts were too heavy to pick up and examine. So she let them lie. Her phone eventually stopped buzzing, and she assumed the battery had died. Good, she didn't want to talk to anyone anyway.

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><p>Auggie arrived at work and went straight to Joan's office. She called for him to come in.<p>

"Can I sit down? This might take a while."

"The chair is at your 1 o'clock."

He sat down and Joan waited for him to begin talking, although she had a fair idea what this visit was about.

"Joan, can you please give me an honest answer as to why you are being so hard on Annie."

"Before you jump down my throat Auggie you should know that I'm not going to fire her. And I'll let her know that within the week."

"Then why make her think you are? You didn't see her when she left your office yesterday Joan she was completely shattered. Although to be fair a significant part of that was my fault."

"I'm not interested in keeping her happy right now. I'm interested in keeping her alive. Now although in the past she's gone off book a few times, she had never done so in a way that put other people in significant danger. This time was different. She needs to learn to respect the authority structure here and she needs to know exactly where her boundaries are. She crossed a line that put herself and other people in danger unnecessarily and she needs to understand how serious that is."

"Okay, I understand all of this but don't why won't you let her talk to anyone here while she's suspended?"

"Partly because I think she needs some distance from work right now in order to clear her head. There are a lot of rumors flying around about her that would hurt her. I also think she would probably end up damaging the relationships she's built here if she was talking to people right now. And I quite frankly think she needs to be alone to fully realize the weight of what she did."

"I'm worried about her. I've been where she is now, and I don't think I would have made it through alive if I was alone. I understand you making everyone else stay away from her. But I'm requesting permission to be there for her no matter what."

"And if I think you need some distance from her because right now she is going to be triggering each and every one of your own issues and I think you will end up hurting her more deeply than anyone else could?" All the air left Auggie's body and he screwed up his eyes at the memory of the things he had said to Annie when she first got back to Langley.

"Then I would say you know me far too well. But it's a risk that needs to be taken and I hope you are willing to trust my judgment when I say that I am scared that Annie will become self-destructive if she is left alone at this point in time." As much as Joan knew that Auggie was putting his relationship with Annie at high risk by his decision, she had a lot of respect for him, and when it came down to it, there were very few situations in which she would give him orders which went against his finely honed intuition. If he thought Annie needed him there, he probably had good reasons for that belief.

"Okay. Permission granted. But be careful."

"Yep. Thanks."

He turned and left, ringing Annie's number as soon as he got back to his office. It went rang until it went to voicemail. He left her a message,

"Annie I know you are probably still upset at the fact that I chose to follow orders yesterday instead of insisting on staying with you when you were going through hell. I hope you can understand that I had to do things the right way, and I've just managed to get Joan's permission to be there for you. So give me a call back, I want to know how you are doing."

When Annie still hadn't answered her phone three days later Auggie became less worried about him being mad at him, and more concerned about her safety.

And when Danielle phoned him sounding frantic the next day asking if he knew why her sister hadn't turned up for Thursday night dinner, he decided he needed to track her down immediately. It wasn't like Annie to disappoint her sister when it was within her control. He told Danielle he wasn't sure where Annie was but to let him know if she heard anything. And that he would do what he could to find her.

He had given Annie a phone which was encrypted but he had the technology to break through that. Although he felt uncomfortable tracking her without her permission, at this point it was about her safety. Joan sounded slightly concerned when he told her that Annie wasn't even answering Danielle's calls and tried to call her herself. When Annie wouldn't even answer a call to her emergency line from Joan, she agreed that he should find her.

The tracking dot lead to an apartment 10 minutes away from the agency. And although Auggie knew it was her safehouse, he was beyond caring about protocol at this point. He knocked on her door loudly, and when no-one answered it for a full 3 minutes he started contemplating whether or not to break it down. Luckily for her door, she opened it just in time.

If he could have seen her he would have been shocked at the sunken circles under her eyes, her unwashed hair sticking out from every side, and dried up mascara all over her face from the tears that she was unable to control. As it was, he could smell that she hadn't showered in far too long, and when he pulled her into a hug he could feel that she had lost a significant amount of weight in the three days since he last saw her. He could feel her shaking in his arms, and strongly suspected that she had not been able to get through any significant periods of time without crying over the past few days. He rubbed circles on her back, telling her everything was going to be okay, that he was there now and he wasn't going to leave her alone again.


	9. The Talk

**A/N Nicole pointed out that there were some things in this chapter that Auggie wouldn't realistically be able to accomplish so this is the rewritten version - let me know if there is anything else unrealistic in it :)**

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><p>Annie had vowed to be stronger than this, to keep Auggie at arms distance so he couldn't hurt her or let her down again. But when he turned up on her doorstep looking frantic and concerned the only thing she had the strength to do was fall into his arms like a spineless jellyfish. She just didn't have the energy to care what he thought of her anymore. She was falling apart and she didn't know where else to turn. As soon as he felt her touch him, Auggie wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her as she cried.<p>

And being in Auggie's arms felt amazing in every way. Even though she knew it was temporary. He asked her where the couch was and she guided him in the right direct, both of them sitting down next to each other.

"Talk to me Annie, what going on?" As he began to speak she started to collect her senses and her pride came rushing back in full force. She pulled herself together and forced herself to stop crying.

"There's nothing going on Auggie, I'm fine, and you shouldn't be here."

"So the smell of rotting leftovers coming from your kitchen is because you made a conscious decision to stop taking out trash and washing dishes? And the clothes you've been wearing for so long they feel limp and wrinkled are a new fashion statement? Fair enough, I'll respect your way of life if you insist." Annie punched him indignantly but she couldn't help cracking half a smile at his teasing.

"Look Auggie, it's been a hard few days but I will be okay I've just been dealing with some stuff. It's nothing that you need to concern yourself with." Auggie only laughed and asked her to help him put old pizza boxes and Chinese takeout containers in the trash since he wasn't quite sure where how to find his way around her apartment yet.

"Annie you are the furthest from fine that you've ever been, I'm not the only one who is worried about you. And as your friend, your well-being does concern me."

"Isn't Joan gonna get mad at you for talking to me?"

"You really didn't listen to a word I left on your voicemail did you?"

"No my phone is dead and I don't want to charge it cus it'll mean I have to get back to facing reality which I know is going to be completely awful."

"I don't think it will be as bad as you expect Annie. I had a talk with Joan. Your suspension was partly to teach you never to disobey orders again, sure. But it was also because she was concerned for you and wanted you to have some time off away from the office to process everything. There are some people in the DPD who were close with the extraction team who died so the office has a lot of bullets flying around about you at the moment. She's giving you a chance to lay low until you are strong enough to handle it all."

"So you don't think she's gonna fire me?"

"No. She's not going to fire you. You remind her too much of herself 10 years ago."

Annie breathed a sigh of relief for the first time in three days as the weight of that particular fear lifted off her shoulders. She finally emerged from her depressed haze and realized the state she was in, dirty, unkempt, and smelly. And Auggie was in her house with her in this state, this was not good.

"Auggie I'm gonna have a shower, make yourself at home." He didn't bother to respond to her other than to ask her if she could provide him with sandwich making materials before she did so.

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><p>As Annie went to take a shower Auggie found himself looking forward to the way she would smell and feel once she was clean and refreshed. He couldn't help but be curious about what it would be like if he were to accidentally bump into her while she was wrapped in nothing but a towel on her way out of the shower. It wasn't that he had feelings for her, but there was a naked girl showering in the next room and he was, after all, a red blooded male.<p>

When she came out she smelled like her usual grapefruit with an undercurrent of vanilla and he immediately could tell that the shower had also lifted her spirits slightly. He was back on the couch channel and since his hands had fallen on her cable TV remote (they were all the same), she came to sit next to him, closer than was really fair given how good she smelled.

He settled on what sounded like an HBO movie based on it's dark soundtrack, and leaned back on the couch comfortably, hands behind his head as if he had no intention of ever leaving her apartment. As much as Annie wanted to just kick back next to him and relax, she couldn't. Too much was unresolved between them, and his bipolar behavior towards her lately had left her completely confused as to where their friendship stood. So she took her first step into dealing with the realities of the damage she had caused through her actions.

"Auggie can we talk?" He grinned at her and replied sarcastically,

"No I'm actually just here to watch TV on your mediocre sound system cus I got tired of my surround sound that I actually understand the setup of back at home." Annie laughed and rolled her eyes,

"Really though. Are you still mad at me?"

"With everything that's being going on, that's your biggest concern?" Auggie sounded surprised but the reality was that although she could have handled everything else, disappointing the man she had such deep feelings for had pushed her over the edge.

"Yeah, it is. I know I don't tell you often enough but I really don't know what I would do without you and knowing that you were mad at me tore me apart inside."

"Annie I was only mad at you because you scared me so much. I didn't know if you were alive or dead for a while there and that is not a set of emotions I ever want to experience again. "

"Why do you even care so much though? You told me you weren't into me as anything more than a friend, so why did it matter so much that I was okay?"

"Annie, your friendship is one of the most important things in my life. You've seen how I am with girlfriends, they come and go, usually within a few weeks tops. I'm a much better friend than boyfriend. And my friends are everything to me. I would do anything for those people who I am close to. I want to keep you in my life for a nice long time, so dating you would be an utterly terrible idea."

"I know you care about me as a person Auggie, but it hurts to be around you knowing that we can never be anything more than that. I just don't know if I can continue being your friend in the same way I have been with the way I feel about you."

"Okay. Well Annie what do you want me to do? I'm not trying to hurt you but if having me around is going to make your life more difficult then feel free to take all the space you need to get over me."

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what do you want from me Annie? Cus I'm really trying to be whatever you need me to be right now but you aren't making it easy. Do you want me to leave?"

"I just need to get honest answers from you." Auggie was quickly becoming frustrated at the circular conversation topic. He just wanted to know what on earth Annie wanted from him.

"Annie I've never been anything less than honest with you."

"Do you think there's any chance of anything ever happening between us?" He wasn't sure. Maybe, in the future when both of them had worked through a lot of their issues. It wasn't like he wasn't attracted to her, and he had thought about what it would be like to kiss her. Probably quite exciting and fun. But not yet. Neither of them was in any position to be starting a relationship right now. He was still working through the Parker situation and she had just been through an extremely traumatic event. If he and Annie ever were to get together it would have to be the real thing, 100% commitment, and full agreement on both sides to see where it could go.

Auggie was definitely not ready for that kind of a relationship. It was too much, too intense. He preferred his one night stands and short term flings. Less emotional attachments, less messy. Him and Annie were too close for him to be able to treat her as just another fling. Annie was not the kind of girl he could casually date, she was the kind of girl he would have to take home to meet his family, and eventually probably end up marrying.

As soon as he reached the word marriage in his head all the alarm bells went off. He could not allow himself to even consider liking Annie as more than a friend; no one should have to deal with him on a lifetime basis. Being a caretaker for a blind guy was definitely not something he would wish on his worst enemy, let alone his best friend. He lived alone because when he wasn't at work, he was moody, cynical, and would sometimes get blinding migraines for days on end.

All beside the point. Annie was his friend and he didn't want to lose her. So his answer to her question?

"No, Annie, I just don't see you in that way. I only see you as a friend. I thought we had already had this conversation.

"That's what I needed to know. I just needed to hear it clearly. And, yeah I would appreciate it you could leave. I can't do the whole just friends thing right now. Maybe eventually? I need some time away from you." Auggie huffed in frustration. Part of him actually felt quite hurt at the way she was so ready to just throw their friendship away because she couldn't have him in the way she wanted him.

"Okay, well, if that's what you want from me, I'll keep my distance. See you later Annie. You are due back at work in 3 weeks." He left quickly, ego smarting at her dismissal and vowing to stay away from her until she admitted to needing his friendship.

Annie knew Auggie was upset at the way she was handling the situation but the reality was that she needed to look after herself, and being around him made her feel hurt and insecure at the moment. She just needed some distance from him in order to move on. And she would move on. Auggie was not the only gorgeous man in her life, and she refused to waste any more time lying in bed moping and feeling sorry for herself. It was time to call her girls and have a fun night out, meet some new men, and get drunk enough to stop caring how far they went with them. Auggie could just observe from afar and be jealous of everyone who were allowed to spend time with her.


	10. Girls Night

**A/N I've been noticing that Annie doesn't really seem to have many friends outside the CIA other than her sister. I think she needs to. So I'm putting in a new character as a close friend who has been read in, don't shoot me please? Also…so excited and nervous about tonight's episode *SQUEAL!***

Annie checked her watch, grabbed a few cute dresses from her wardrobe and headed over to her sister's house.

Knocking on the door a few times she called out,

"Hey Danielle, it's me!" Danielle heard her voice and came rushing in with a big smile on her face, pulling her into a hug.

"Oh my gosh I still have a little sister! Why haven't you been returning my calls! I was getting worried that you had shaved off your hair and were too embarrassed to let me see or something equally awful!" Annie felt herself returning Danielle's smile. Her sisters natural exuberance always made her feel better about life.

"Haha nothing like that but it has been a pretty awful week and I am in serious need of a girls night complete with dancing and tequila. And since you are my favorite person to have girls nights with I wondered if there was any chance of bribing a babysitter to come look after the girls on short notice? Oh and I invited Rachelle!" Danielle was delighted, her smile instantly growing even wider.

"I love Rachelle she's great! I happen to have a babysitter on call. Give me a few minutes to make the arrangements and put the girls to be, you know where everything is in the bathroom so you can go start getting prettied up! Yay! Girls night!" Then Danielle's face fell slightly.

"Wait... You aren't gonna get called into work and have to abandon me drunk in a bar somewhere are you?" Annie laughed,

"Haha for once you don't have to worry about that, I've been suspended for 3 weeks for messing up on an assignment. So no work for me and we can get party to hearts content."

"Oh my God what happened, are you okay? Is that why you haven't been returning my calls! And no wonder Auggie sounded so concerned when I called him about you missing Thursday night dinner! He played it off like you were on an assignment or something but he was just as worried as I was, wasn't he?"

"Whoa whoa you're gonna have to slow down if you want me to be able to answer your questions. And I will tell you all about it. But can we be drunk first please?"

"Yes! Okay! Go get ready!"

Half an hour later the babysitter arrived and Annie and Danielle hailed a cab to take them to one of Annie's favorite bars near work, stopping to pick up the vivacious Rachelle on the way. Annie was wearing a shimmering silver and black mini-dress which left very little to the imagination, offset by the bright red barely there band aid style dress Rachelle had chosen. Danielle was also dressed to perfection, turning heads everywhere they went. They found a booth and ordered margaritas, then Danielle demanded to hear the full story,

"Okay the suspense is killing me you HAVE to tell me what's been going on!" Annie protested, shaking her head, and pleading through her laughter,

"Mmm, no, let me drink at least one margarita first!" Rachelle and Danielle looked at eachother and rolled their eyes before collectively agreeing,

"Fine!"

The girls made small talk while they waited for their drinks to arrive; talking about Chloe and Katia, Rachelle's latest modeling shoots, and Danielle's business. Finally Annie got her hands on her margarita and drained it as quickly as she could without getting brain freeze.

"Now talk!" Danielle was the bossy older sister, as per always. But she had such an amazing heart nobody could even get mad at her for it. Both her and Rachelle leaned in with intense curiosity, accompanied by some concern for Annie, who was usually the strong, stable one of the group.

"Well okay, basically, I screwed up on an assignment and other people got hurt because of me. But that's not the reason I stopped returning calls and hid from the world. If I'm completely honest, it's about a guy." Rachelle squealed!

"Oh my God, there's a guy in your life and you didn't tell us! How could you?" Danielle jumped in too,

"Is it that cute brown haired one who showed the Chloe and Katia around the Smithsonian?" Annie laughed, sometimes her sister could be so perceptive.

"Ooooo a CUTE guy. Even better!" chirped Rachelle in a voice oozing with innuendo.

"How on earth did you figure that out so quickly?" Danielle giggled with a sparkle in her eye,

"Well I'm not a spy like you, but your voice changes a little when you talk to him." Annie replied in one long run on sentence with hardly any breathing in between words,

"Yeah. Well. He's my best friend at work. I kinda fell for him, like…badly. And it all came out awkwardly one night and he pushed me away. Then I found out that he had been in a serious relationship for a couple of months and had…well, not exactly lied to me about it, but he definitely didn't tell me. So anyway, I made a complete fool out of myself and I was already feeling completely humiliated, then when I made a mistake on my assignment we got into a fight over it, and he told me when I got back that he's only interested in me as a friend, so I told him I need some space so he left and he's probably mad at me and never going to speak to me again. But whatever, here we are." Annie signaled to the waitress to bring her another drink, asking her to keep them coming.

Rachelle looked indignant.

"If he doesn't recognize that you're the most amazing girl he's ever met then he's a complete idiot. You deserve to be with someone who treats you like the most precious person in the world." Rachelle slid in on Annie's side of the booth to give her a hug and snap a photo of them both looking gorgeous. All of them smiled, and Annie raised her glass which was already empty again,

"I'll drink to that. Or at least I would if I had any more alcohol!" The waitress brought them all another round. Once they had a few more drinks in them they got up and began to dance, quickly finding themselves surrounded by a group of truly stunning guys. Annie was finally managing to let go of all her worries and pain and just relax when she spotted Jai over in the corner of the bar, clearly on a date with a short, pixie like brunette who worked on his floor.

For a second her heart sunk, but then she got a mischievous glint in her eyes, and started dancing closer to one of the guys near her. Annie knew she that anything she did now would probably get back to the agency, but she didn't care, and as soon as she saw Jai recognize her, she wrapped her arms around the neck of the nearest guy and kissed him on the lips. He had been stealing glances at her every time he thought she wasn't looking all night, so he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the small of her back and kiss her back.

Annie noted the small gasp of surprise on Jai's face with satisfaction, which was compounded when he saw his date snapping a picture of her and the guy kissing. As she had surmised, his date was exactly the sort of girl who kept the CIA gossip mill in full circulation. Auggie would be hearing about this night soon enough. Not to mention that the photo would probably be in circulation. Her night just got exponentially better.

The hot guy she had kissed stuck to her side the rest of the night on the dance floor, and since he was an exceptional dancer, she had no complaints about it. She didn't give him her number at the end of the night, because the night had not been about finding a new man, it had been about getting out of the house with the girls and reminding herself of all she had to live for. She was young, sexy, and intelligent. And she literally had men falling at her feet. Not to mention she had two of the best friends a girl could wish for. No matter how tense things might get between her and her sister, they were still family. And Rachelle had been one of her best friends ever since her first linguistics class at college. They were amazing.

By the time she got home that night she was feeling 100% better about life. Her self-confidence had returned in full force, and she knew she was going to be okay.


	11. What Annie didn't see

**A/N Based on tonights episode…I feel like we got so much more insight into Auggie's private world. It was so heartbreaking. But it made me wonder what the deeper reasons he might keep Annie at a distance would be. Thoughts on the episode? I loved it!  
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><p>Auggie did hear about Annie's girl's night escapades. Jai told him in retaliation for a particularly nasty piece of sarcasm Auggie had directed his way. The truth was that he didn't have the energy to care much about it. So Annie was acting out and trying to get over him by kissing other guys. Well, if that was what she needed to do that was her decision. He had bigger issues to work through. Like the call he had just received from his specialist, informing him that even with the latest advances in medical technology, there was still nothing that could be done to recover his sight.<p>

He only let it trip him up for a moment before he continued with his work, but internally the knowledge that there was no cure for him burned a hole in his heart, the pain becoming so intense that he simply shut his emotions off and refused to allow himself to feel. He had to focus on work so that he could survive the pain without falling apart completely.

He had hoped Annie would have understood that he was just trying to be a good friend to her. The he was trying to be respectful and trying not to lead her on. But to be fair, she still did not know all the details of what he was going through. Perhaps if he had been more open with her about how he felt she would not have pushed him out of her life completely. Maybe she would not have been so hurt by him telling her that he only wanted to be friends.

The problem was that what Annie didn't see was the reason that Auggie was so protective of her. She didn't know why he had been so angry when she returned. She did not know that her going missing had triggered memories of the worst day of his life. She didn't realize that although he was scared that she would be killed, he was even more afraid for her that she would be injured or maimed in a way that was life altering but not fatal. He was scared she would be left disabled as he had been all because of one bad choice in Iraq.

She didn't realize that he was scared that he would never be able to be the fully functioning protector and all round superman that a girl like Annie deserved. He was scared he would not be able to live up to her expectations once he let her close enough to see his vulnerabilities.

It was why he only ever dated women for a short period of time – long enough for them to get to know him on a fun level, but not long enough for the emotional aspects to get too deep and intense. The only exception had been Parker. Perhaps because of their shared love of her brother Billy, she could understand the weaknesses in parts of him that no-one else could reach. He wasn't scared to let her see them because she knew that those holes existed in her too. The feeling of loss, of opportunities that would never come again, of a future that had been blown away by one wrong decision. She understood those vulnerabilities. That was why he had not yet been able to let her go.

Usually he presented a strong front, but when he has asked his team member to close the door of his office as he took the call from his doctor, it was because he knew this was a call which could change the course of his life. Unfortunately, it had not been the answer he was hoping for. His last hope of changing his circumstances had just been declared null and void. He needed to accept that he would be blind for the rest of his life. And it hurt at a depth that nothing would ever be able to reach, no comfort or healing. Some wounds truly were too deep to heal.

He wanted to talk to Annie. He wanted to share with her everything he was feeling, everything he was going through. But he did not want to hurt her any more than he already had and the deeper he allowed her to see into his heart, the more she would get attached to him. He couldn't allow himself to need anyone. Especially not Annie, she was so bright and vibrant, she didn't need anyone holding her back from living her life to the fullest. His disability would hold her back in more ways than she realized if they were dating.

When he first woke up blind he had been so helpless, unable to do anything for himself. He had fought tooth and nail every step of the way to regain his independence, and yet there were still days such as today, when all he could see were his weaknesses.

So Annie kissing other guys? Sure, Jai had hit his target. He was jealous. He was jealous of any man who could look Annie Walker in the face and see her smile. Jealous of any man who was whole and undamaged. He was jealous of any man who had the strength to truly grasp life with both hands and immerse themselves in it instead of needing to hold themselves back to avoid destroying the lives of those around him.

But it was better this way. Annie should be with someone whole. And that someone was not him. He would simply find a way to deal with that, along with all the other parts of him that were damaged and hurting. Annie was just one more bullet wound in a heart that had been penetrated by grief more times than he could count.

So he steeled himself to get through the next three weeks without his best friend. He braced himself to allow her to move on without him. Because it was better for her. She deserved better. Behind his dry wit and sarcastic wisecrack, he hid a soul which had been through too much. But Annie never needed to see that. He would continue to be her rock whenever she needed him, and a shoulder for her to cry on whenever she asked. But he could not date her. Even if she hated him for it, it was his choice to make.


	12. Distancing

**A/N You guys are awesome! Nuf said. Love hearing all your opinions on everything! Sorry if I haven't had a chance to reply to your reviews yet, finals week is slaughtering me!**

**Disclaimer: Characters still not mine. Will probably never be mine. Ah well, dreams are free.  
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><p>Respecting Annie's request for space, Auggie turned to Parker to talk about the conversation he had had with his doctor. He called her up later that week when the pressure at work combined with the stress in his private life pushed him to his limits. He wanted to just have a fun, lighthearted conversation with her, but she could instantly tell that something was wrong. Probably because lately she had been the one calling him instead of the other way around.<p>

"Hey Parker, it's Auggie."

"Auggie? Is everything okay?" He forced a false note of cheer into his voice as he replied,

"Practically perfect in every way. But of course, you've seen me shirtless so you already knew that"

She laughed but didn't drop it,

"As much as I'd love to believe you, you sound like you're speaking through gritted teeth. So what's been going on?"

"Just had a rough couple of days."

"I take it that means you don't wanna tell me about it?"

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's more that I don't want to even think about it, and I'm afraid that talking about it will make it too real to ignore."

"Well... I doubt bottling it all up is going to make you feel any better about it."

"Let's just say I got some bad news about my eyes and leave it at that. I'd much rather talk about you, how's Eritrea?"

"Okay, well you know I'll be here for you if you ever want to talk about it. Eritrea's actually really great. I've been meeting some amazing people and I'm starting to find my place here now. The work is really rewarding and I feel like I'm making a real difference in people's lives."

"That's great to hear. I know how much you had your hopes pinned on this being a fresh start for you." As much as Auggie was happy for her he knew that the more she settled in there, the less he would hear from her. It was just how cultural adaptation worked. When you first moved to a new country you depended on your friends from home to get you through the first few months of culture shock, but as you started to become fully immersed in the new culture, you developed local friendships which became your main circle of support.

If the call from the doctor had been something different, he might have had the option of moving to Eritrea and joining the Peace Corps with her. But with the results being what they were, he might be losing the love of his life, purely because he was unable to join her in her adventurous lifestyle. To be honest, she had the sort of lifestyle he had always wanted. And for that matter, the kind he had had before Iraq.

In his heart he began to realize that she was probably not going to come running back to Washington, no matter how much she cared about him. He would never ask a girl he loved to give up their dreams for him. That would be the most selfish thing he could possibly do. To be honest, he would have less respect for her if she did give it all up for him. Part of the reason he had such deep feelings for her was because he recognized himself in her. She was a survivor, attracted to adventure like a moth to a flame. She would take life by the horns, and succeed at everything she tried. She was too determined to ever give up. He admired that in her.

As it stood, he would continue to be there for her while she settled. She would be there for him until she was fully comfortable in Eritrea. The reality was that both of them were just holding on to the familiarity and stability they provided for each other. But he knew he would have to let her go eventually, it was really only a matter of time. She would find a man who could keep up with her and that would be that. He understood. And he was coming to terms with it slowly. He would always care about her, and she for him, but logistically, it would never be enough to make their lifestyles mesh.

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><p>Annie spent the remaineder of her time off work exercising, practicing at the shooting range, and hanging out with her sister and the girls. She updated her wardrobe, read a few novels, and caught up on her favorite TV shows. And yet, somehow, she still had far too much time on her hands to miss Auggie. She had made the conscious decision to get over him. She refused to allow her mind to ruminate over the way he had treated her, and she consistently changed her thought processes every time something reminded her of him. But it was still going to take her some time to fully move on.<p>

Nevertheless, she was in a much less vulnerable place than she had been, and she knew that it was not worth throwing away a perfectly good friendship just because she had allowed herself to read too much into a situation. Besides which, she had been top in her deception class, the least she could do would be to hide away any feelings she did still have for him, at least until she managed to suppress them completely.

She had learned early in life not to chase men who were not interested in her. Beginning with her father, naturally. She had strived to gain his attention for a long time, until her and Danielle found out that he had been lying to them for years. That was the turning point for her, when she learned not to let herself want something that was not being offered willingly.

She had thought Auggie might have been the kind of guy who would actually be consistent and provide some form of stability for her, but his rejection of her had shattered that notion. In a way, it was good. It was better to find out now that he was not the type of guy she wanted to end up with, than to discover it down the line when they had been dating for two years or something. Essentially, she knew she would move on. And in the meantime she was more than happy to be single and free. It wasn't as if she craved intimacy and closeness from men; she had grown up without it, and she certainly didn't need it now that she was a fully independent adult.

So when Joan called her up at the end of her second week and asked her if she was feeling ready to come back to work, she agreed. They had a good conversation actually; Joan explained her situation more fully,

"Annie, it's Joan, how are you holding up?" Better than she had been when she first got back, that was for sure. Actually she was feeling more or less human again.

"I'm okay." She waited for Joan's pronouncement, knowing that her future at the agency was dependent on the decision Joan and the board had made about her.

"Good. Our board has discussed your situation, and given that this is a first time occurrence they erred towards leniency. You can come back to work on Monday, as long as you agree to see a company psychologist once a week for the next 12 weeks to work through the trauma of your experience. You won't be allowed to go out on any more field missions until the therapist decides you're ready." Annie was surprised,

"That's it?" She had expected a much harsher punishment.

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"No, not at all. It's just. I was sort of expecting to be sent back to the farm or demoted."

"You're still learning and we all understand how steep the learning curve can be in the Agency. We are more concerned about your health and safety than we are about your insubordination. I know I haven't been easy on you, and that unfortunately is part of my role as your boss. However, from one female operative to another, I know that having people die because of you affects us more deeply than it affects the men. I think therapy will be beneficial if you choose to open up."

"Thanks Joan. And I really am sorry about what happened."

"We all make mistakes, Annie. We move on, and we work through them. You'll be okay."

"Okay, well I will see you on Monday then."

"Yes. Also, one more thing."

"Mhm?"

"Don't be surprised if Auggie is acting a little distant at the moment, he's got a lot going on in his life, and it's not personal."

"I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks. Is he okay?"

"He's one of the strongest people I know, but I've known him for a long time, I can tell when he's not doing well. I've never seen him this distant or detached from everyone around him before. Just tread carefully, I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"Why would either of us get hurt, we're just friends."

"I'm aware of that, and I recommend keeping it that way. I'm also aware that working in a highly tense work environment with close proximity to each other all the time can complicate emotions. Both of you are too vulnerable to risk anything more than friendship at this time."

"Don't worry, he made it fairly clear that that isn't ever going to be an option."

"Really? I wasn't aware of that."

"Yeah, well, I misread a few signals."

"I'm sorry to hear that Annie I know that must have been hard on you."

"I'm moving on. I'm fine."

"Okay. Well I'll see you at 8am on Monday, don't be late."

"You got it."


	13. Monday

**A/N No more exams this week! Woooo! Thank you so much to all my faithful reviewers – you make me want to keep writing And hello to all the new readers who are just joining the roller-coaster now! It's great to have you along for the ride! Long day, but here's a little update for you all anyway :)  
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**Monday**

Annie was back at work. But Auggie still hadn't heard her familiar heels tap their way in his direction. It mystified him. Although she hadn't specified exactly how much space she would need, he had assumed they would be back on speaking terms when she got back to work. He mused on it for a moment, allowed himself to feel frustrated for a short period of time, then got back to work. Clearly she was not yet ready to reinstate contact. He would continue to respect her wishes but at this point it was beginning to drag out and he wanted to know one way or another if she would ever be okay with being just friends again. He missed her friendship. A lot.

While he hadn't encountered Annie herself, rumors about her were running rampant about the office. Usually he would be the one laughing with her over office gossip but today he genuinely did not know which rumors were true and which we're complete conjecture. And that was extremely frustrating given that the rumors ranged from her being at home in a full body cast after being mugged in Cabo while on a romantic getaway, to her being back in the office and in a relationship with Jai. That particular rumor grated on him. Slimy social climber, he didn't trust Jai and he never would. But then again, he was also pretty sure Annie wouldn't date him.

He tried again to focus on his work but found himself constantly pulling off his headphones to listen in every time someone mentioned Annie's name.

As the day wore on and she still didn't come to see him, he decided he needed to know where they stood, at least on a professional level, and went to find her.

She was at her desk, with the distinctive smell of strong coffee wafting from her general direction. He smiled at the sound of her typing away at a translation,

"Annie Walker as I live and breathe!" She replied perfectly cheerfully,

"Hi Auggie." She sounded like she was smiling, which was definitely a good sign.

"I'm glad to find you more substantial than an apparition given the rumors that have been flying around about you today." She laughed,

"Yeah I heard a few of them. Did you know I went on a mission to Europe and ended up hooking up with a duke?" He could actually picture that one happening. She would probably get bored with the royal lifestyle pretty quickly though, it was too confining.

"That particular rumor, no. But I did hear all about your escapades in Mali. Apparently you've been blacklisted?" Annie took a sip of her coffee and murmured something non-committal. This was good, she wasn't yelling at him or treating him with cold civility. Essentially she was acting as if they had never fought and everything was okay between them. He wasn't about to rock the boat at this point.

"So other than all the rumors, how does it feel to be back at work?"

"It feels great, I was going out of my mind with boredom. And thanks for talking Joan out of firing me by the way."

"I didn't have to talk anyone out of anything, you kept your job entirely on your own merits Annie Walker. So congratulations."

"I assume you heard about the agreement, therapy for 12 weeks before I'm allowed back on the field. I mean it sounds like a waste of time but if it's what it takes to get back out there I guess I'll deal with it."

"You'll realize you need it soon enough." He'd give her three weeks to a month before the Post-traumatic stress kicked in.

"I'm doing really well, honestly. I haven't even thought about what happened in Brasil since I left." Ah shock, denial, repression, the whole process was so familiar to him. Almost comforting. Almost. But not quite. It was an unhealthy place to get stuck when you were trying to move on with your life. Unresolved issues would come back to haunt you at the most inconvenient times.

"That would be why you need therapy. Just believe me on this one." Annie didn't sound convinced, choosing to brush it off with a light,

"Okay, if you say so."

"I do." he didn't need to convince her of the truth of his statement. But he would be there for her when it all hit the fan.

"So Auggie was there something in particular you needed?" And there it was, the polite brush off. All jokes aside she still had a lot of barriers up around him.

"No, I just came to say hi and welcome back to the agency."

"Thanks. I actually really need to get back to work but it was nice of you to drop by." Well. At least she wasn't ignoring him completely. But clearly it was going to take more than one conversation to regain her trust, if indeed she ever let him get as close to her as he had been. Which, knowing Annie, he was pretty sure she would strongly resist.

She was remarkably trusting for someone in the CIA, but once she had been burned once, she was extremely cautious about putting her hand anywhere near the flame again. He wanted to find a way to fix the relationship but things had gotten so complicated and mixed up between them that he was finding it hard to even identify which issue was at the core of her keeping him at a distance.

It wasn't even necessarily about him, it was possible that she was just still reeling from her experiences in Brasil and her emotions had shut down from being overloaded.

He would need to figure out what she was thinking, but apparently it would be without her assistance. He turned to leave but before he got to the door he paused and asked,

"Are you free for drinks at Allen's tonight, drinks on me." He could hear the shrug of indifference in her voice as she replied,

"Sure, why not."

It wasn't much, but it was a start.


	14. Allen's

The ride to Allen's was filled with their usual banter. Lighthearted and focused around everything except their own relationship. Annie was just glad the workday was over. All the glares from people who had known the men on the extraction team had worn her down. She was used to everyone generally liking her, so it was going to take some adjustment. Some of the rumors going around about her had also been less than complimentary. It seemed that everyone directly blamed her for the death of the extraction team, and the guilt was starting to eat away at her. Especially as she had no legs to stand on if she tried to defend herself. It had legitimately been her fault.

In the past she would have just instant messaged Auggie throughout the day when things were stressful in the office, and he would always have a sarcastic quip to cheer her up. But then again, in the past their friendship had always been flirtatious and teetering dangerously on the border between friends and something more. She was still trying to define and solidify the new boundaries she needed with him, firmer ones that wouldn't get blurred. First on the list was learning not to go running to him with all her emotional drama. That was a boyfriend category level of emotional intimacy and she did not want to rely on him to make her feel better when she was down.

But once they got to Allen's and sat down, for the first time she found herself not knowing what to talk about with her best friend. So she sat there staring at the drinks menu until Auggie started the conversation himself.

"So other than work stuff, how's everything going?"

"Well, I'm moving back in with Danielle."

"That's great! How'd you manage to get to that point? I thought you guys were still working through stuff?"

"I guess when you're close enough with someone you eventually forgive them and decide the relationship is more important than your hurt feelings." A grimace crossed Auggie's face for a moment and he paused before he replied.

"Yeah. Any chance of you deciding to forgive me?" She had thought she had been hiding her feelings so well. Why did Auggie have to be so perceptive all the time? She decided to play the oblivious card, and inserting a tone of surprise in her voice she replied,

"Forgive you? For what?" A flash of confusion crossed his face,"

"To be honest, I'm not quite sure. But I have noticed that you're still keeping your distance from me. What's it really about Annie?" She smiled widely and raised her eyebrows innocently, knowing he would hear her facial expression in her voice.

"I'm not keeping a distance from you at all, there's nothing to forgive you for. We're fine." Hopefully that was convincing enough.

"Okay." He sounded dubious but at least he wasn't going to push the topic. It was hard to tell whether he believed her though since he kept his emotions so close to the vest. Regardless, if she wanted to keep her walls up, she would take any chance to avoid talking about her feelings. She changed the topic as quickly as possible, in the one way guaranteed to distract him.

"So drinks?" His characteristic grin made its way back onto his face.

"Now you're speaking my language Annie Walker, what can I order for you?" Something strong enough to make her forget how gorgeous he looked in his button down shirt would be ideal. Or less than ideal given that she would probably end up spilling all her feelings for him once her inhibitions disappeared to the bottom of a glass.

"Light beer?" She smiled as he signaled to the bartender then continued,

"So what's been happening in your life?" Hopefully if they were talking about him he wouldn't hear the tremor in her voice every time her smile faltered. If she was honest with herself, she was feeling jealous every time another woman looked at him, especially since, knowing him, he was likely to end up taking one of them home that night.

"Not much really. Hey the girl behind me, at my 7o'clock. Scale of 1-10, is she above an 8?" Annie swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat at his question and reminded herself that she could not let him see how much she still cared about him. She didn't want to deal with this right now. She had thought he wanted to spend time with her but clearly he still just saw her as his wing woman. That was fine; she was done with liking someone who would never like her back. He knew how she felt and was being completely insensitive. But two could play the game of not caring.

"About an 8 and a half. But I thought you weren't over Parker yet."

"Quickest way to get over someone is to sleep with someone else right?" He had a wry half smile on his face. He was usually more respectful to women, even though he slept with every beautiful woman he found. So the comment surprised her. Joan had mentioned that he was going through some things in his personal life at the moment, and she wondered if his unusual lack of filter was due to whatever Joan knew.

Of course, if he didn't want to tell her then she wasn't going to find out. So instead she decided she was done trying to spend time around the compulsive womanizer that was Auggie, and found an exit strategy. Walking over to the girl Auggie had been referring to, she stopped at her table and smiled widely,

"Hi, I'm Annie. My friend over there just found out he's going to be blind for the rest of his life and a conversation with someone as pretty as you could definitely help make him feel like his life is still worth living."

The beautiful, but thoroughly lacking in intelligence young woman gasped, and immediately nodded before walking over to where Auggie had been sitting.

She didn't get far though, Auggie had heard the whole exchange and was already on his way over to Annie, furious. Annie had just been making up a story, trying to get the woman's sympathy riled up enough for her to use her as an excuse to go home and get away from Auggie since it was getting too painful to be around him. But she had unwittingly stumbled on the crux of what he was dealing with at the moment, and triggered all the emotions he had so stoically been hiding. The ones he refused to discuss even with Parker. He brushed past the woman Annie had sent his way, and demanded in a low voice,

"Who told you?" At this point she was genuinely confused.

"Told me what?"

"About the MRI results and me not being eligible for any of the experimental treatments?" Oops? So this was what Joan had been referring to.

"Auggie I was just making a story up to get the girl to go talk to you... What MRI results."

Auggie sighed and tried to brush it off,

"It's nothing."

"I'm rolling my eyes at you. But okay."

* * *

><p>One of Auggie's favorite things about Annie was that she respected him enough to never pry into anything he wanted to keep private. She just assumed that if she needed to know, he would tell her. And that she was the first person he would go to if he needed to talk. He had been struggling to deal with Dr. Kessle's diagnosis by himself, and although Annie accepted his need for privacy, he suddenly felt a driving need to talk to someone about what he had been going through. No man is an island, and although he often tried to be one, the reality was that this particular piece of news had hit him at the core of who he was.<p>

The other element that came into play was the knowledge that if he wanted Annie to begin opening up to him again, he would need to open up to her too. Especially after not telling her about Parker for so long. Perhaps he was analyzing her like he would an asset, but mainly he was realizing that she was the one person in his life who always accepted him at face value, and he didn't want to lose her. So he amended his previous statement,

"Okay that's not strictly true. But this isn't the place to talk about it. Can we go talk at my place?" Annie sounded slightly hesitant when she replied and he wasn't quite sure why,

"Okay." He put his hand on the small of Annie's back and ushered her out of the bar gently. She giggled and he inclined his head quizzically.

"The girl I sent to talk to you is shooting me death glares right now." Possibly born out of the extreme stress of the week, he suddenly had a mischievous idea.

"Want to give her something to really be mad about?"

"What do you me...?" Auggie cut her off halfway through her word. The hand he had on her back pulled her body towards him as his other hand moved up her body to cup her face and he kissed her briefly, still grinning. Pulling back he asked her,

"How's that girl reacting now?" Annie didn't bother replying to his question.

"Seriously Auggie, what the heck was that about? Forget her reaction it's mine you should be concerned about."

"I just wanted to know what it would feel like." As he spoke he realized he had been wondering for a while what it might feel like to kiss Annie. Ever since she had ended up at his house the night she got back from Brazil. But she had been keeping him at such a safe distance that he hadn't been around her for long enough for that feeling to rise to the surface until tonight. He could feel her glaring at him.

"I'm trying to decide whether or not to slap you right now." He grinned; if she was going to slap him she would have done it already.

"How about not slapping me. It's not fair to slap a blind man you know."

"Yea well it's not fair to kiss your best friend either. Especially when you don't have any feelings for her and you're just on the rebound. I'm going home, find your own cab."

He heard her heels walking away and was left contemplating the fact that even though Annie was now pissed off at him again, the kiss was totally worth it. Then he wondered where that thought had come from.

He would have a lot to process when he got home.


	15. Analyzing Feelings

**A/N I hope this make sense...I feel like at this point both of them are thoroughly confused about what their feelings are, and they're both trying to figure them out. So there may be times where their emotions and thoughts seem slightly disjointed. But let me know if anything doesn't make sense and I'll try to fix it :)**

* * *

><p>"Danielle!" Annie called out through her sisters front door.<p>

"Oh hi Annie, I wasn't expecting you." Annie walked straight to the freezer and got out the Ben and Jerry's ice cream and two spoons before sitting down at the counter in Danielle's kitchen, frowning. Her sister sat down opposite her. Her silence concerned Danielle.

"What's wrong?" Taking a deep breath Annie replied,

"Auggie kissed me." Danielle almost started bouncing up and down in delight as a big smile crossed her face.

"That's perfect." Then realized that Annie was devouring the ice cream and the smile turned to confusion. "Wait. Why the ice cream. You like Auggie right?"

"Yeah. I like him a lot. But I'm pretty sure he was just using me as a rebound from a relationship he just got out of. Or kissing me as a joke. Or both." Danielle's excitement deflated.

"Oh."

"I don't know what to do. I mean I thought I was doing well getting over him and that we were going to be able to get our friendship back on track but that kiss just complicated everything even more. I honestly have no idea what he was thinking."

"Well what do you want?" Annie squinted in her characteristic expression of analyzing something which was causing her pain.

"Uhm...I think I'm done. I just... I can't be friends with him if he's gonna keep changing the rules. I need the confusion to stop. It's exhausting me." Danielle was disappointed. She had hoped that Auggie was the guy who would mean she could stop searching for dinner dates for Annie every Thursday night. She tried to save the sinking ship in a last ditch effort to put a positive spin on the situation,

"Well you always have that option. But don't you think you want to know what he was thinking first?" Annie shook her head.

"No I don't even have the energy left to care anymore. It doesn't matter what his excuse is this time, I need to look after my own emotions, and he didn't respect me enough to let me move on without him taking advantage of my feelings." Danielle knew that as a sister at this point she had to be completely on Annie's side and not trying to make excuses for Auggie anymore. But she didn't want to believe that Auggie had been playing with her sisters emotions. He just didn't seem like the type.

"So you don't think there's any chance that he might like you back?"

"No. I thought that before and it just ended up with me embarrassing myself. It's like he keeps giving me a taste of what it would be like if he did like me, then pulling back again." Okay now Danielle was feeling indignant. If she saw Auggie she would definitely be demanding that he treat her baby sister better. She thought for a second before replying.

"So you feel like he's playing you?" Annie shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe? I'm sure it's not intentional but that doesn't change how confused it makes me feel." Hmph. Auggie was going to be on Danielle's black list for quite some time at this rate.

"I think you need to find a way to feel in control of your life again. You've been going through so much lately. I feel like a useless big sister that I can't protect you from it all. But I think you should do what feels right to you. And if that means telling him that you're done then I'll make sure I'm stocked up on ice cream for you!"  
>That at least produced a smile from Annie.<p>

"Thanks Danielle."

"You're welcome. Now when are you gonna start moving your stuff back in?"

"I was thinking Saturday?"

"I'll clear my schedule."

The two sister smiled at each other and resumed eating the ice cream on the counter quite contentedly. All the problems in the world could wait when there was ice cream to be had.

* * *

><p>Auggie got in the ride his car service had sent out for him with his mind still reeling.<p>

Verdict: He wasn't even sure if that kiss had been about Annie, or about the way his life felt like it was spiraling out of control.

It had started with Parker. She awakened long dormant hopes in him that he had thought he had managed to squash for good. The desire to see again. The desire to love deeply and not keep everyone at arms distance.

When Dr. Kessle had confirmed that he would never see again, those dreams had been shattered. Again. And to have them taken from him a second time almost hurt more than the first. It was as if he had to accept his disability on a deeper level this time. Whereas before a small part of him had always held out hope, he was now having to come to terms that there was nothing left for him to base his hopes on. They were pipe dreams.

He had already been slowly giving up on Parker before going out with Annie tonight. Sensing intuitively that she was beginning to pull away from him and that it would only continue over time. He didn't see kissing Annie as rebound behavior at all, but the truth was that maybe an element of his brokenness over Parker had left him yearning for intimacy and closeness with someone he cared about.

The final straw for him had been hearing Annie talk to Ms. 8.5 and gullible. Hearing her put his worst nightmare into words spoken out loud,

"My friend over there just found out that he's going to be blind for the rest of his life." It was all he could do to take a deep breath and hold himself together for as long as it took to walk towards the sound of Annie's voice and confront her on how she knew about what Dr. Kessle had told him.

He had realized in that moment that Annie was the only person in the world he actually trusted enough to talk to her about the details of Dr. Kessle's diagnosis. And even more to his surprise he found himself wanting to talk about it with her. Usually he kept painful subjects completely to himself. And maybe Joan if it would impact his work. Need to know basis.

He had managed to hold himself together until she touched his arm so he knew where she was and was able to pull her close to him. But having her so close to him, with his emotions already threatening to come rushing to the surface, he had done the only think he could think of to avoid letting her see him break down.

He had kissed her. And then realized how long he had been wanting to do that.

Even worse, he wanted to kiss her again. And that was going to be a problem given that she still thought he was hung up on Parker.

What he had meant as a quick and playful kiss as a joke, had quickly spiraled into something much more serious. But he didn't know how to deal with an extra layer of complexity in his life right now. He already had too many things he needed to deal with. Maybe he did have feelings for Annie. He just wasn't ready to admit them until he had dealt with everything else. Starting with Parker.

He told his phone to call her number, but it went straight to voice mail. So he left a brief message.

"Parker, it's Auggie…we need to talk. Call me back when you can."


	16. Auggie in Trouble

**A/N Thanks to Haku2009's story Guilt, Lies, and Pain for the inspiration for the handler part of this chapter. And of course, Covert Affairs still doesn't belong to me. Also, omg over 100 reviews - you guys are seriously awesome!**

* * *

><p>The next morning found Annie pacing in Joan's office, still frustrated and seething at Auggie's behavior<p>

"Joan I need a new handler." Joan looked up from her paperwork.

"Well, you know you can always fill in the request form if you want to be reassigned. But can I ask why you no longer feel able to work with Auggie?"

"I don't really want to go into it. Let's just say that at this point my relationship with Auggie would cause a conflict of interest and impede my ability to accomplish missions successfully." Joan opened a drawer and handed her a piece of paper labeled Reassignment Request.

"Fill in the paperwork and I'll approve your request. You should be aware though that Auggie is the best handler we have. You'd be settling for second best." Annie nodded.

"I need some space from him right now. I don't want to have to interact with him on a daily basis." Joan recognized the carefully bland and emotionless expression Annie wore on her face as that of heartbreak in the CIA. Consistently hidden, but a major driving force behind many decisions within the agency.

"You are aware that you will still be working on the same team though right Annie? He is the head of tech ops and as such will still be directly supervising whoever is chosen as your new handler."

"I understand."

"Okay. Annie look, I know relationships within the Agency can be complicated. Believe me, things between Arthur and I have never been simple. But I also know that Auggie does care deeply for you. I suggest you keep that in mind before writing him off completely."

"I appreciate your concern Joan but the way he's been treating me lately has made it pretty clear that he has no respect for me at all. I'm done with him." Joan nodded.

"I understand."

* * *

><p>Joan called Auggie into her office as soon as she received Annie's completed paperwork that afternoon.<p>

"Have a seat Auggie; it's at your 2 o'clock." He sat down in a relaxed pose which completely belied the current state of his emotions and thoughts overall.

"Okay."

"Annie has requested to be assigned to a new handler. I've approved her request." He had known Annie was mad at him but Joan's words still hit him right out of left field. He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head briefly.

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard. What?"

"I don't know what you did Auggie but you've caused some damage in your relationship with Annie that I don't think you will be able to repair. Stu will be handling her missions from here on out."

"And...If I ask you to deny her request and give me a chance to work things out with her?"

"Auggie. You know how much I respect you. And usually I trust your judgment. But lately you've been scattered and it has not gone unnoticed. Now I say this with the utmost care and concern for you. You need to talk to someone about what has been going on. In the meantime, try to ensure that whatever is going on between you and Annie no longer interferes with your job. Or hers."

"I swear I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally."

"Well, then perhaps you need to take a closer look at the ways you have been hurting her unintentionally. You're dismissed, send Stu in and close the door behind you."

* * *

><p>Auggie was in a dark mood when he ordered Stu to go see Joan so it was with trepidation that he entered her office.<p>

"Joan? Auggie said you wanted to see me."

"Yes. You have a new assignment. But this one may be slightly harder to negotiate than your usual ones."

"I don't understand."

"Annie Walker has requested to be reassigned. You'll be taking over from Auggie."

"Well I guess that explains why he was giving me an unfocused death glare when he told me you wanted to see me."

"I'm going to recommend that you tread lightly. For various reasons both of them are running on heightened emotions at the moment. And I recognize how deeply Auggie cares for Annie but I'm not sure he quite knows it yet. So. In regards to Annie, if Auggie tries to cross any lines or in any way treats you differently because of her, you are to inform me directly and I will deal with him."

"Let me make sure I've got this straight. You're asking me to take on an assignment that you basically know is going to make Auggie, who just happens to be my boss, hopping mad at me. And you're telling me that if he treats me like scum because of it I'm just supposed to go over his head?"

"You have the right to turn down the assignment if you want."

"Do I really though?"

"You're the only one other than Auggie who I think has the ability and experience necessary to keep Annie safe. But if you don't think you are up to dealing with the politics involved I will understand." Stu sighed. He was signing his own death warrant. Auggie was going to kill him. But there really wasn't anyone else who was up to handling her, and doing it well, especially given her propensity to go off book.

"Okay. If the agency needs me to do it I will."

"Thank you Stu." Well. He had earned brownie points with Joan. They weren't going to do him any good if Auggie killed him before he could even cash them in to get a promotion though.

* * *

><p>Annie was longing for her 12 weeks of therapy to be done so she could get back out onto the field instead of being stuck in the office building trying to avoid running into Auggie every time she needed another cup of coffee.<p>

Nevertheless, she managed to get almost all the way through the day without seeing him. It wasn't until she took her afternoon break and went outside to enjoy the sunshine that he found her and sat next to her on the stairs of Langley, looking aggrieved.

"You asked Joan for a new handler?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm tired of dealing with your mind games. And I can't be bothered trying to figure out why you can't seem to make up your mind about how you feel about me. I have too much self-respect to be your rebound girl. So if you don't mind, I'd like to drink my coffee in peace."

"Annie I'm sorry about kissing you las..." She cut him off.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. You're out of chances Auggie. I'm done, and you need to leave me alone or I'll file a harassment complaint with Joan." With that parting shot she got up and fled back to her office, hoping he wouldn't try to follow her.

* * *

><p>Auggie didn't even dare try to follow her. Her final words had shocked him to the core. He had known she was upset, but between asking for a new handler and what she had just said, she had just made it clear that she genuinely wanted no contact with him.<p>

Joan had been right in warning him that he needed to look at the ways he had unintentionally hurt Annie. What he didn't know was how things had spiraled this far out of control, or how he was going to fix them.


	17. On The Mend

**A/N I know Auggie has been acting out of character lately – he just had too much hit him at once and it broke him - he didn't handle it well at all…you can only go up from rock bottom though Thanks for all the reviews and perspectives you guys share on each chapter – totally get me thinking of all the different ways things could play out **

* * *

><p>Parker called him back a few days later while he was at work figuring out a particularly tricky piece of intel with Stu. He took the call regardless, since between time zones and the fact that he was always at work, the chances of them finding a time to talk when both of them were free were slim to none.<p>

"Parker, hi."

"Hey Auggie, you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. Look I'm at work so I'm just gonna get straight to the point. I care about you. A lot. But I can't be your friend and I can't pretend that this is something it isn't. We broke up and I need to be able to move on."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I can't be your fallback guy. You have your new life in Eritrea and I have mine here. I need a chance to let you go fully and I don't think I can do that if we stay in touch." He could hear her holding back tears on the other end. But thankfully she didn't try to fight him on the topic.

"Okay. I understand. I really did love you."

"I know. I loved you too. I still have no regrets of the time we spent together Parker. But it's time for us to let each other go." She sighed.

"You're right. I've been thinking that too. It still hurts but I understand."

"Take care of yourself Parker."

"Bye Auggie." *Beep*

Stu wisely said not a word throughout the conversation. As any good tech ops man would do though, he did file away the intel in his mind, just in case it became useful at some point in the future.

* * *

><p>Three months later in her final mandatory therapy session Annie felt comfortable enough to be honest with the company psychologist."<p>

"So Annie, where do you want to begin today?"

"Can we actually talk about something completely unrelated to what happened in Brazil?"

"Of course, these sessions are here to help you process emotions in whatever way you feel would be most beneficial to you."

"I was going through a really hard time when I got back but it was less because of what happened there, and more because I got into a massive fight with my best guy friend over it."

"Your best friend is listed in your file as Auggie Anderson, tech ops?"

"Yeah. Anyway; I had fallen for him but he was going through his own issues and blew me off, he made me feel like my dad used to when he disregarded my feelings growing up. And I pushed him away completely. I miss him a lot but I think I may have pushed too hard."

"How so?"

"Well the day I reached my limit with him because he kissed me, he had been about to tell me something really personal and painful to him. And he doesn't open up to people easily. But by that point he had triggered all my abandonment issues and I wanted to force him to miss me instead of me feeling like an insecure mess around him all the time."

"So how did you push him away?"

"He tried to explain his reasons for kissing me the next day but I just cut him off and told him he needed to leave me alone or I'd file harassment charges against him with Joan."

"Do you think that was a bit of an overreaction?"

"I know it was. I'd never seen him look so hurt and broken before. I never would have actually done it, but I guess I must have been convincing because he hasn't tried to contact me at all and it's been two months now."

"Why do you think you reacted that way?"

"I used to feel so out of control growing up as an army brat, having to jump up and move every time my dad was reassigned, never having any say in my life. And then finding out that my dad had been Special Forces and lying to me my whole life... I promised myself never to let myself get close to someone who made me feel out of control again. But the way Auggie was treating me brought up all the same feelings."

"Do you think those were valid feelings to have?"

"Honestly, yes. I know he was going through stuff but he really hurt me in the process."

"So I'm hearing a few things from you at the moment. The first is that both your father and Auggie hurt you deeply. The second is that you feel guilty about the way you reacted to Auggie. And the third is that you miss his friendship. So with this in mind, where do you want to go from here?

"I think I need to talk to Auggie. To at least explain to him why I reacted the way I did and hear his side of the story."

"Do you think the rift between the two of you is repairable?"

"I hope so. I care about him a lot."

"Okay one more question, do you think you are ready to go through the process yet? Knowing I'll be here for you every step of the way if you need support."

"Yeah, I miss him too much to keep this silent treatment going indefinitely. But he did really hurt me and part of me wants him to come to me first, even though I told him to stay away."

"Well, if you like you can wait a bit longer and see if he does?"

"Am I allowed to do that?"

"Yep."

"Okay how about a couple more weeks."

"It's your decision but I'll support you whatever course you decide on. Oh and by the way, you're approved to get back out on the field. Congratulations!"

* * *

><p>Three months had passed and Annie was still studiously ignoring him. He missed her even more than he had anticipated.<p>

Three months and he still couldn't figure out a way to fix their relationship since she was so dead set against listening to anything he had to say. He could no longer pretend he wasn't missing her unbearably. He knew that if he called Annie's sister for advice it would just make her angrier with him. So he went to the one person who he knew understood both sides of the rift.

"Joan do you have a few minutes? I need some advice."

"Have a seat. What's going on."?

"I miss Annie. I don't usually let myself get attached to people but she meant a lot to me and I'm struggling to let her go. She won't let me get anywhere near her to explain. How do I fix it?" Joan sighed. She had been expecting this conversation at some point.

"Auggie I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Annie is not some asset you can manipulate into trusting you again. You hurt her far more deeply than you know, and until you realize exactly how I don't think anyone will be able to repair your relationship with her. In the meantime though, the only thing you can do which will not cause more damage, is to respect her request for space and hope she chooses to forgive you eventually." Joan spoke more directly with him than most people would; she knew that he could handle it. Although the truth might hurt him initially, he would analyze it and carefully base his subsequent decisions on it. It was best to give him complete information. He sighed.

"It's been months." Joan nodded, although Auggie couldn't see it.

"Did you honestly think she would just forgive you overnight?" Auggie closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

"I hoped she was just punishing me and would get over it."

"Every woman has a limit. You pushed Annie to hers."

"You sound mad at me too." Joan's years of experience in the CIA had taught her how to get information out of people, and she had been concerned about Auggie for some time. So she used what she knew about him to crack his defensive outer shell.

"No Auggie I'm not mad. But I will admit that I expected better from you." As she had expected, the disappointment in her voice broke Auggie's carefully crafted expression of neutrality. He crumpled in his seat and finally opened up completely for the first time.

"Joan. I love her. I was just going through so much when she told me how she felt about me that I didn't realize it until it was too late." Joan had to restrain a smile. He was finally admitting how he felt about Annie. That was what she has needed to hear.

"I'll have a word with Annie when I feel she's ready to hear that Auggie. But in the meantime, I'm still concerned about you. What's been happening?" Auggie's guard was still completely down. Joan could see the brokenness in his eyes that he usually hid so well. His gaze became distant and his jaw clenched as he spoke.

"After Parker left I was informed that I'm not eligible for any of the experimental stem cell treatments for my eyes."

"I'm sorry to hear that Auggie." His voice became hard and bitter.

"Yep. Well. Something in me broke. I wasn't thinking clearly for quite a while after that. Everything was overwhelming and part of me didn't want to accept that there was a whole life I would never be able to have. I wasn't able to process the emotions of the people around me because I got so wrapped up in my own problems. I was acting on pure impulse, trying to grasp at straws in any way I could to hold on to my old life. I know I hurt Annie a lot in the process." Yes, he had. But at least he was able to recognize it now.

"I knew you were going through a lot at the time which was why I let Annie change handlers. I felt it would be better for both of you to get some space from each-other until you had dealt with your individual issues." She had always had a close relationship with Auggie, so she knew that her decision to approve Annie's reassignment had left him feeling betrayed.

"I understood your decision Joan. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt Annie more." Good. He was back to his usual rational self.

"I know that Auggie. And to I'm sure Annie knows you didn't hurt her on purpose. But I still need to ask, assuming I can convince Annie to at least listen to what you have to say. What have you done to ensure you don't fall into the same patterns again?" Auggie inhaled and Joan could see him physically pull himself together, once again becoming the strong Special Forces soldier that they all knew and loved. His posture straightened, chin lifting to be parallel with the ground and he focused intensely in her direction. Then he spoke in a calm and even voice.

"My doctor got me in touch with a psychologist who deals specifically with helping people come to terms with life-altering disabilities. I've been seeing him regularly since then working through it all. I'm back on track now; I just needed to reach a point of acceptance again. To feel comfortable with who I am and what my limitations are. And to reestablish my self-identity, knowing that I am still worthy of being loved even if I'm blind. That's what was keeping me from letting Annie in fully before."

"Do you think you are ready now to do whatever it takes to repair the damage you have caused in your relationship with Annie?" There was no hesitation in his response; it was a simple statement of fact.

"Yes."

"Then I think there may be a way to fix this."


	18. Grapevines

**A/N I know it took me a few days to get this up – finals week madness! All done as of tonight though wooohoooo! And to celebrate, here is an update for you all **

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><p>Joan smiled to herself as she put her plan into motion. She had been in Annie's position with Arthur at one time. Convinced that he was in love with someone else and unwilling to hear anything he had to say on the matter. It had taken a vicious rumor to push her past the point of icy coldness to the point of pure rage which had resulted in her confronting Arthur and finding out he had left his wife because he was in love with her.<p>

That had been a complicated part of her history that she rarely allowed herself to dwell on since it brought up so many feelings of guilt and shame over the fact that she had broken up a marriage.

At least in that way, Annie and Auggie's relationship was simpler. Other than an ex-girlfriend on another continent, no-one else would be getting hurt by the two of them finally getting together.

All she had to do was pull the right trigger to make Annie go flying at Auggie in rage and end their standoff. She knew that Auggie could handle it from that point.

So she sent an email to Jai Wilcox, very much aware that he had his finger on the pulse of every strand of malicious gossip in the Agency. They only kept him around because he had too much dirt on everyone for them to be able to fire him.

"To: Jai Wilcox  
>From: Joan Campbell<br>Subject: August Anderson leaving the agency.

Jai. Auggie is leaving the agency which will, of course, leave his position open. We would like to interview the rest of the men you poached from Tech Ops for the position. Please keep in mind that we are still less than impressed over the lengths we had to go to in order to get Stu back, and don't try anything sneaky. If that is even possible for you.

With some slight sincerity and a distinct lack of warmth,

Joan"

That ought to get Jai riled up enough to vent to his secretary. Who would in turn tell every other secretary in the agency while transferring calls for their bosses. They would talk about it around their superiors, and if she knew anything about the efficiency of the CIA grapevine, Annie would hear about it within 3 days.

She contemplated informing Stu that it was nothing but a rumor assiduously circulated by herself, but decided that since Annie would undoubtedly use him as a fact checker, it would be better if he was convinced it was true.

Smiling, she turned to another pile of papers and resumed her actual work. She had not been head cheerleader in high school for nothing, scheming was still one of her favorite past times. It was one of the things which she shared in common with Arthur - the scheming not the cheer-leading - making their marriage so much fun.

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><p>Joan's predictions were inaccurate on only one thing - the length of time that it would take to reach Annie. She found out within hours.<p>

Stu heard the rumor from the two other former tech ops men who now worked for Jai. And he called Annie directly even though it was outside of work hours. Annie smiled when she saw the name light up on her phone. Her and Stu had become good friends over the past couple of months.

"Hey Stu!" Stu was great. She loved that he was so down to earth and predictable. The sort of person you could be yourself around and know that everything would just bounce off him cheerfully. He was comforting to have around.

"Annie, I have something to tell you that you might not be happy to hear." Scratch that. That was not his usual way of starting a conversation. It was also not the way any enjoyable conversations began. Her stomach began gathering butterflies, the kind you get from eating bad curry, not the kind you get before going on a hot date.

"Okaaay?"

"Yea. Uh. I don't know how to say this so I'll just get to the point. I just heard from some of my old colleagues that Auggie is leaving the agency. " All the color drained from her face and she dropped her phone to the ground. Sure she had been mad at Auggie, but she had never considered the fact that she might truly lose him for good. She had always assumed that he would be there when she really needed him. And to have to find out from Stu hurt her pride. Did he not at least feel she deserved to hear it from him directly?

Her sister saw her white face as she walked into the living room where Annie had been standing and was immediately worried.

"Annie what's wrong?" Everything was wrong. Her world was spinning in fuzzy circles and the walls of the room were closing in on her. She couldn't breathe. She needed to know why he was leaving. Where was he going? What triggered his decision? Was it anything to do with her?

She forced herself to slow down her breathing and tried to gather her thoughts before replying to her sister.

"Auggie's leaving." Just hearing herself say the words out loud was like a death knoll, forcing her to accept that it was real, that he was no longer going to be the familiar voice in the DPD that she had grown to depend on. Even if they weren't on speaking terms at the moment, it had never changed the feelings she had for him deep down. Not that she would have admitted that to anyone, including herself, until this moment. Her sister looked confused.

"What do you mean leaving?" If only she knew. Was he moving somewhere far away? Was he going to reconcile with Parker? Was he giving up on the agency? Her mind couldn't make sense of it.

"He quit his job. And didn't even bother to tell me. I don't know what to think. I'm going over to his place now to find out."

"I know I'm just your big sister but are you sure that's a good idea? I thought you were still mad at him." She was mad. Even more so now that he had chosen to make a decision like this without even bothering to tell her before she found out through the rumor mill. Livid, furious, broken, shattered. All adjectives that came to mind. The fact that he was leaving and she had not been on his list of people to give a forwarding address to only made it painfully clear how little she had meant to him.

"I know. But maybe part of me was kinda hoping he'd come crawling back on his knees begging for forgiveness. Or something similar. I don't know what I thought I wanted but he can't leave!"

"Annie, at least eat something and calm down before you go!" Her thoughts were in a flurry. She didn't know how soon Auggie was leaving, perhaps he had already left; maybe he was on a plane right now. She couldn't allow herself to contemplate that possibility. She had no time to lose.

"No time! I gotta run. Love you!" She grabbed her purse and rushed out of Danielle's house, driving recklessly to Auggie's place, mercifully avoiding a ticket. She was furious that he hadn't told her himself and he was about to hear every pent up emotion she had been had harboring towards him for months. Or maybe not. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to yell at him or jump into his arms. All she knew was that he had better have a damn good reason for not telling her himself.


	19. Confrontation

**A/N I know, I know, 2 updates in one night is just plain excessive. But I was so excited to be done with exams that I just couldn't help myself! **

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><p>Auggie had just finished his shower and pulled on some sweatpants when he heard a knock on his door and frowned, he hadn't been expecting anyone. Since he couldn't peer through the viewer, he called through the door wryly,<p>

"Unless you are bearing food I probably won't let you in. Who is it?"

"It's Annie." Annie? Joan had said she had a plan up her sleeve but how she managed to get Annie to turn up on his doorstep was a mystery to him. He would be forever in awe of her mind control abilities.

He opened the door and stood aside as Annie blew in, words flowing from her mouth in a combination of betrayal and annoyance.

"You're leaving and you didn't even think to tell me?" Auggie reached out to find her and put a firm but stabilizing hand on her arm. He was completely confused and had no idea what she was talking about, but he recognized that she was flustered so he spoke evenly, using the same tone he would use on the phone when one of her missions went awry.

"Annie, slow down. What are you talking about?" Really though, there should be a law against starting conversations without any precedent and expecting people to be able to catch up. She seemed to have a corner on the market for it.

"Stu just called to tell me you're leaving the agency. You should have told me yourself." Why on earth would Stu think he was leaving? At this point he was questioning whether he had resigned accidentally. But no, again, Joan was the queen of situational twisting. Regardless, he finally had Annie here, and there were a few things that needed to be cleared up between them.

He wasn't sure what it was about Annie that brought out all her protective instincts. It wasn't that she asked him to look after her. She was one of the most independent women he knew, and heaven help the man who ever tried to tame her or tell her how to live her life. But his instincts told him that underneath all her apparent strength she was vulnerable. He had caught glimpses of it a few months ago, but had been so wrapped up in his own issues that he had not responded to them as he should have. Maybe if he had been more aware of her opening up to him at that point, they would be in a very different place now. At the same time he was still confused given that the last time they had spoken she had threatened to file a harassment complaint. That, and the fact that it had been a long day and he was tired, led him to speak slightly less compassionately than he might have otherwise.

"Okay, Annie. Firstly. I'm not leaving the agency and I don't know where he got his information. Secondly, you made it pretty clear that you didn't want to hear anything I might have to say. So I don't really see why you are here." Although his words betrayed how hurt he had been by her ignoring him for months, on the inside he was intensely curious as to why she had reacted to the fake news by coming to his place to yell at him. But that was okay. He could work with yelling. At least it opened up the communication channels. She replied quietly with a tone of wonder in her voice,

"You're not leaving?" He could hear a hint of the previous heartbreak as she spoke and his voice softened in response, this was the Annie he knew and cared deeply for. The slight tremble in her voice broke through his defenses. So he put a slight smile on as he replied to her gently.

"I know I'm blind but have my communication skills also become impaired without my knowledge? No, Annie, I'm not leaving."

Annie sank onto Auggie's couch weakly.

"But… I thought…" She trailed off, unable to finish her thought. She was confused, angry, and tired. Mainly tired really, from all the back and forth between her and Auggie all year. She didn't know how to feel around him anymore. She wanted to still be angry at him for the way he had played with her emotions, leading her on, making her listen to him going on about other attractive girls, kissing her…

And yet the three months of distance between them had dulled those feelings of betrayal and anger, leaving only a throbbing ache around the edges of her heart as her wounds healed. She wasn't the sort of person to remain bitter or to hold a grudge longer than necessary. She had simply not realized the capacity of the human heart to move on, to piece itself back together, as long as it was left undisturbed for long enough. It had taken her two years to get over Ben because she never got closure, but Auggie had made his emotions, or lack thereof, so clear, that instead of shattering into sand-like pieces, her heart had simply been torn straight down the middle. And one clean break had been so much easier to repair than a million pieces.

Instead she was now left wondering why she was really here. What had caused her to become so scared of losing him that she had abandoned all reason and turned up on his doorstep demanding answers? Was there even anything left of their friendship to salvage? She had not thought there was. And yet, here she was.

Even more surprising was the fact that he had not yet thrown her out of his house. She had been so cruel to him the last time they spoke. Part of the reason she had not yet approached him to clear the air was that she was embarrassed at the way she had overreacted.

She felt him sit down next to her, his body tense as if expecting her to hurl more verbal missiles at him. But the pain in his voice when he spoke completely undid her,

"Annie…can we talk about what happened between us?" No, no, no, no, no, no. Talking would just bring up painful memories she had been trying so hard to forget. She pleaded quietly,

"It's in the past Aug, can't we just move on." Unfortunately he wasn't buying it.

"We can't do that and you know it. We tried that, it turned into a huge mess and I've been regretting the way I acted for months." Well, that made two of them.

"What do you mean?"

"Annie when you held my hand that first night I realized you had feelings for me, I was in the middle of the week from hell. Between Parker breaking up with me and finding out that I wasn't eligible for any of the experimental stem cell treatments for my eyes, I wasn't thinking straight at all. I didn't know how to react." Well that sort of explained his first reaction when she told that girl he had just found out he would be blind for life. But it still didn't explain why he had kissed her. And that was really the part that had confused and hurt her the most. So until that was effectively explained, she was still going to keep him at a distance. Out loud all she said was,

"I get it Auggie, we've been through this." Her words belied her true emotions – at this point she was dying to hear what he might have to say.

"Hear me out?" He sounded confident and stable, like his old self. It was less of a question than a statement. She WOULD hear him out one way or another. No matter how much she might have wanted to say no, when he used that tone of voice on her she melted a little inside.

"Yeah."

"Things got out of control after that Annie. I was so scared when you were trapped in Brazil and we kept crossing swords when you got back. I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I pushed you away out of a sense of self preservation, just trying to keep my head above water. I should have just told you what was happening in my life straight away, but years of training in secrecy meant I didn't even know how to open up." She was riveted by this point, but wished he would hurry up and get to the point. How did this apply to her now?

"Okay…"

"That night we went out for drinks, I realized that in spite of everything else going on in my life, you were the one person I wanted to talk to about everything. The only person I completely trusted enough to open up about what I was going through. But by that point I had already been talking on autopilot, reverting to my nervous habit of hitting on beautiful women when there is tension in the room. It works fine when I'm around the rest of the guys from my team, but I shouldn't have done that to you. Therein lies my first apology. I'm sorry I acted like you were nothing more than my wingwoman."

"First apology?"

"Give me some time to get through them all, I know there's a lot of apologies to be made." By this point Annie had a genuine half smile on her face, she was not completely sure where his depth of self-awareness had come from but given that she had never expected to receive these apologies, they were beginning to heal something inside her.

"Oh, well in that case, go right ahead."

"When you went up to that girl and told her I had just found out I would be blind for life, I freaked out. It had been one of my deeply protected secrets and I couldn't understand who had told you, it momentarily hit my most vulnerable point, and honestly, I was about to fall apart completely. I didn't want you to see me in such a weak state, so I tried to hide it by kissing you. Which should be my second apology. But I'm not going to apologize for it." All of Annie's anger came rushing back in full force and she demanded,

"What do you mean?"

"I can't apologize for kissing you, because as soon as I did, I realized that I wanted to kiss you again. And that I had been developing feelings for you for a while, but because of everything else that was going on in my life I hadn't admitted them to myself until that moment."

"I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me?" She had never regretted her actions or words more than she did in that moment. She had had a chance to be with Auggie but she had pushed him away so strongly that he had given up on her

"You were so angry at me, and I knew I had hurt you one time too many. You made it pretty clear that you were not likely to be receptive to anything I said. People I trusted advised me to respect your request for space, and to wait until you were ready to forgive me."

"You should have told me."

"Would you have listened?"

"Well. No. But you still should have told me."

"I'm telling you now." That caught her off guard. What did he mean, he was telling her now. He couldn't possibly still have feelings for her, not after everything.

"What?"

"I've missed you like you wouldn't believe Annie. And it's been torture trying to stay away from you when all I've wanted to do is pull you in my arms and apologize and tell you everything would be okay. But I needed you to understand that I would always respect your wishes. And there was no way we could have built anything out of the mess our relationship was in at the time. I had a lot of emotions to work through, as did you. We both needed the space." Annie frowned in utter bewilderment, trying to understand what he was saying.

"I'm still trying to piece together what you mean by all this."

"You're it for me Annie. And if you give me a chance I think trying to make up for the past 3 months of tension would be an extremely worthwhile way to spend my time." Did Auggie really just tell her he had feelings for her?

"Are you asking me out?"

"That would be the general idea, yes." She had no idea how to respond at this point. She wanted to be like all the girls in the movies who jumped into the arms of the man they loved as soon as he apologized for breaking their hearts. But the truth was after everything she was too emotionally exhausted to know how she felt about him anymore. And this was Auggie, she could be honest with him, and hopefully he would be able to handle it

"Can I have some time to think about it?" She hadn't know how he would react to that, but he actually had the nerve to grin and wink at her like he was confident in what her conclusion would be.

"Take all the time you need, you know where to find me, given that I'm not leaving the DPD." Ha. Ha. Ha.

"Yeah…where did that rumor come from anyway?"

"I have a few ideas. I plan on going straight to the root of the problem to get it stopped immediately. Although just turning up for work tomorrow should deal with most of the rumor mongers." Annie laughed quietly, enjoying being back to their usual lighthearted banter, then turned to Auggie,

"I should go." She didn't want to leave, but she knew if she stayed any longer things were likely to get 'complicated.' Auggie reluctantly removed his hand from her arm where it had been resting during the conversation.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow?" She couldn't wait to see him the next day. She was feeling cautiously optimistic, which was a vast improvement on how she had been feeling earlier in the evening.

"If you're not there I WILL destroy you. That's both a promise and a threat." Auggie grinned at her.

"You're tempting me to take a sick day just to see your reaction." Annie pretended to be mad,

"I'm leaving now!" Auggie just laughed and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and they both held on to each other for just a little bit longer than was strictly necessary for a goodbye hug.

Annie couldn't stop smiling the whole drive home.


	20. Of Mischief, Answers, and Missions

**A/N You guys have been so amazing and wonderful! I know this has taken a while to get up but I've been trying to figure out how to tie this up…and considering everyone's comments! I think I'll end here but you never know when another story might start percolating…so thank you so much for all the reviews and support all the way through this journey, and I'll be around for sure! :)**

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><p>The next day at work was chaotic and busy, Annie was getting ready to go out on a new op, and Auggie was snowed under by intel. But the highlight of Auggie's day was arriving at his desk to the faint smell of Annie's perfume and a hot cup of coffee accompanied by an instant message from her saying good morning.<p>

That at least reassured him that he had not dreamed the conversation of the previous night.

He was more nervous than he had let on about giving Annie time to think through what she wanted from their relationship. Not because he doubted her feelings for him, but because she was going on another mission soon and he didn't think he could cope with her leaving without some resolution between them.

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><p>Annie struggled to focus on her assigned tasks all morning. She couldn't stop replaying the previous night's conversation in her head.<p>

She wanted to tell Auggie she was all in, but the truth was she was scared. Scared of being disappointed. Scared of having her heart broken yet again. Scared that she liked him more than he liked her. She was afraid that the relationship wouldn't last and she would end up losing her best friend. Or worse still, that the relationship became unhealthy and she ended up losing her own identity.

She was beginning to realize why she had always been attracted to men who she subconsciously realized were emotionally unavailable or unwilling to truly commit. The stakes were lower and she always had an easy way out. This was different.

A relationship with Auggie could only end in one of two ways. Either lifelong and wholehearted commitment, or utter devastation. There would be no easy exits if they went down this path together. There were so many things which could potentially go wrong. So many possible complications.

And yet her heart was convinced that he was someone who could truly make her happy. She was whole and complete on her own but being around Auggie added an extra dimension to who she was. He inspired her, encouraged her, and challenged her. She had no doubt that a relationship with him would be anything but boring. He would not let her lose herself.

So what was holding her back? Her fears could be allayed in one conversation with him, she knew that. But she wasn't sure if they were ready to take this next step from friendship to more together.

Her thoughts were spinning in circles. She knew she only had a few hours before she left for her next mission and given what had happened on the last one she knew the perils of leaving things up in the air. Eventually she gave up and called his department. Auggie answered on the first ring and spoke into his headset

"Auggie Anderson, Tech Ops, I probably can help you, but chances are you're not one of the few people I actually want to help."

"Oh, what a pity, I was going to ask you if you wanted to do lunch." He laughed at her and responded jokingly,

"With you?" Annie rolled her eyes and replied sarcastically,

"No, with Jai."

"Oh, well in that case, no."

"Thank goodness, I was worried for a second there that you two had decided to become best friends in my absence."

"No one could ever replace you Walker. And yes, lunch sounds great."

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><p>They went to a small café within walking distance of the agency and discussed menu options for a few minutes, until Auggie's curiosity got the better of him.<p>

"Ohhkay. What's this really about Annie?" His question opened the floodgates for all her fears and hold-ups. She told him everything she had been thinking while he sat and patiently took it all in with a look of serious concentration on his face. His reply was straight to the point as per usual.

"So if I'm hearing you correctly, what you're really asking me is, what will happen if things don't work out?" Annie scrunched her nose and smiled, he was so good at filtering information and figuring out what the core issue was. All she could say was,

"Yes." Auggie's response was to shake his head and laugh at her.

"Well that's simple. We're both adults, and we work for the same place. We'd find a way to work through it and keep our friendship. Heaven knows we're sorted through enough already, I don't think it would be beyond our capabilities." Annie raised her eyebrows in surprise. She had not been expecting that response.

"Really?"

"Your friendship means too much to me to give up on it that easily Annie. But you know my feelings for you go deeper than that, and I'm still in the dark, literally, about how you really feel about me at this point." Annie took advantage of his blindness to get up quietly and sit down next to him without him realizing until she took his hand. This time he didn't pull away, instead he wrapped his own hand around her and grinned. Annie leaned in close to his ear and whispered,

"That's funny because everyone else knows exactly how I feel about you. For such a smart tech ops guy I would assume you would be better at putting together the clues you've been given." Auggie reached up to find her neck and ran his fingers up to her cheek, turning her face towards his.

"Based on those, I'd say you just can't keep your hands off me Annie Walker." He leaned in and kissed her softly, his stomach doing somersaults when she kissed him back, deepening the kiss. He wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. They were interrupted by a waitress clearing her throat to announce her presence.

"Your food? You did come here to eat right?" Both of them pulled back, blushing.

"Yes, thank you." Annie had one more piece of news for Auggie.

"By the way, I asked Joan to re-assign you as my handler, I hope you don't mind too much." Annie smiled while she waited for his response.

"You mean I'll have to talk to you the whole time you're on a mission? And here I was thinking I would be getting some peace and quiet while you were gone!" Auggie stuck his tongue out at her like a 5 year old.

"Better put that tongue away, you might get yourself in trouble."

"Is that a challenge Ms. Walker?"

"Definitely." They decided they weren't really hungry and spent the rest of their lunchtime further away from the prying eyes of the waitress.

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><p>Joan called Auggie into her office as soon as he got back from lunch, and spoke to him with a definite smile in her voice,<p>

"Annie sent me a rather mysterious message this morning, asking me to reassign her to you. You wouldn't happen to know the reasoning behind that would you?"

"We made up. Thanks for that viciously circulated rumor by the way." Joan fluttered her eyelashes innocently and replied dismissively,

"I know nothing about any rumors, but I am happy to hear you two have sorted things out." Auggie knew it had been her but played along with her farce, continuing on ot the next topic of interest.

"So I'm back on Annie duty?" Joan sized him up, taking in his swollen lips, the slight blush on his face, and ear to ear schoolboy grin.

"I suppose I can approve the request. As long as you promise you won't be distracting her from missions." She knew she was asking the impossible.

"I promise to try not to be distracting." His grin turned mischievous, knowing that Joan would approve the request either way. He and Annie were the best team she had. Joan managed to keep her stern tone consistent as she replied,

"Try not to mess this up, I need both of you in my department and fully functioning if you don't mind." Auggie's grin faltered slightly at that and he replied with deep sincerity.

"Believe me, messing things up again is not on my to do list." Joan nodded.

"Good." She handed him a thick file in braille. "You have 2 hours to read up on Annie's next mission, I suggest you get to work."

"Yes Ma'am." He turned and walked out. Joan smirked as he left her office. So her diabolical plan had worked. This relationship would be fun to observe, and now that they had finally told each-other how they felt, it was likely to be one of the more stable ones in the CIA.

Now to inform Jai that Auggie had decided to remain with the agency. Sometimes she really did love her job.


End file.
